Power of "Gratitude" not "Contentment" Please

I am so thankful for being alive today, for seeing the beautiful sun outside and to breathe the beautiful fresh air. It’s a beautiful day to be alive, with family and friends. It’s mid-week but I am so in my element because I have every reason to be, most of the things I used to only wish for, I do have. I may not be halfway to where I want to be but I have everything I need right now; I have peace of mind, I have a loving support system, I have a loving family, caring friends; my go to girls and a boy, the most understanding kind man, a job that takes care of me for the meantime with happy colleagues. I mean I have everything I need to prepare myself for the big bright future that is called my plan, I don't want to be in this place forever, hell no ,I am going places.

You don’t have to have everything you want to be grateful; you need to have everything you need for your dreams to be a plan that will manifest to be the life that you want. Did you just see the words I used here “need and want”, read it again, slowly this time without thinking I was going to say I am happy because I have everything I want (in this case the latest version of an AUDI beast of a car, two-story house in the hills, a flourishing charity organization, a bestseller author title, two beautiful twin babies and a loving husband, and five income streams bringing ching-ching in my back account… please don’t try me #laughs). Point is, do you see where I am driving at? You don’t have to wait for your big break to be grateful. Gratitude should be a way of life, it should be the basis of your existence, the root of your happiness and the fountain of your fulfillment.

Back up: what is generally referred to as Gratitude? The laymen’s view of gratitude is “the acknowledgement of goodness in one’s live”. I appreciate this definition, however I feel that it is rather limiting for the kind of gratitude am talking about. The kind of gratitude that changes your whole perspective or rather reminds you of what life should be about really. I am talking about Gratitude that goes beyond appreciating only the goodness in life, I am talking about the kind which makes you appreciate your whole life journey, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. A kind of gratitude that goes beyond “wants” ,that understands that life journey is different for everybody, that understands that we were born at different times, different places, in different  families and we are all distinctively different. Besides nature in itself has a way of expressing itself to us differently. In essence of that our journeys are totally different.

The reason why we are unhappy most of the time is that, we compare ourselves to other people forgetting that, even though we seem to have the same resources and chances our timings our different. Nature is balanced, I know you know this, as something dies, something else is born, as something is broken ,something else is built. It is the same concept that applies here, someone makes it at 21 and becomes the world’s sweetheart and enjoy life to the fullest, but you know what maybe it happened that way because they are going to die at 45 or rather they are preparing way for someone else close to them who could have not made it given they didn’t make it at 21. Likewise you can work half of your life and only when you are 45 your big break comes, and you live up-to a hundred to see the work of your hands flourish and return your folds. That is just life.

 My point is, do not compare yourself with anyone, it steals your sight as much as it steals your happiness. Losing sight of what you have, makes you feel lesser and not grateful and an ungrateful man is bitter and most of the times envious of other people which in turn might lead to jealousy and unhealthy competition and all other toxic feelings. You don’t need that.

Be grateful of your journey, appreciate the life that you have, which is utilized by you to reach to that place you want to be. I am not saying get content and comfortable with the little that you have, no there is a difference, as much as there is a thin line between faith and stupidity, there is a thin line between being contented and comfortable with less and being grateful for the place you are at right now.

Being contented simply makes you feel comfortable with mediocre standards, with living below your fullest potential, whereas gratitude is acknowledging the existence of the current situation that can provide room for you to be better. You can be full of gratitude and work to be the best version of you, but you cannot achieve this when you have gotten comfortable in a place where you feel this is workable with, after all I am surviving. No, no, no. So I am saying for you to be happy, you need to practice gratitude whilst knowing that it’s a process, trust the process. It’s a moving bus (gratitude), not a stagnant beautiful boat in charming waters (contentment). Know the difference.

Be thankful for; life, love, family, friends, food, sunlight, fresh air, your phone and Wi-Fi and most of all the gift of time and a new day every day, which is the universe’s way of giving us second chance to being better versions of us.

N.B: also do not forget the littlest of things possible for they are the things that matter the most.

What are you grateful for today? If it is someone pick up your phone right now and let them know!!!

#growth #selfdevelopment #findingourselves

10 life quotations I live by

Hello beautiful people, how are you doing, hope I find you well, it’s been a minute. Just the other day during this past weekend I was just lying down feeling lazy, and like always my mind was doing its regular exercise, somersaults and all the works thinking about life, about growth, development and then something caught my eye, my old diary. I tell you I got a million of those tiny little notepads, journals or such where I just jot anything and everything that comes into mind or I come across reading, or I hear or anything, I just write, it’s like the pen and book possess me or something, but anyway that’s beside the point. I opened it and guess what I found in there, GOLD!!! It has life quotes I have lived by for a long time, they guide me, they teach me, and they speak to me in different ways. It’s funny how someone you don’t even know can say something that can totally change your life.

 I just thought, oh this is something I could share with others because I know there are many of us out here that have the words of other important people impacting our lives, or generally teach us. This is just a reminder of something that you might want to know or be reminded of. There are quotes that guide me through life and some that are just full of wisdom it’s a good thing to hear what lesson they teach us. Below is a list of some of my favorite quotes ( among a hundred I just chose ten). Feel free to share more quotes that have taught you a lesson or two in life and the ones you live by that have positively impacted your life. Have a great day and a productive week… XOXO

1.       “ One has to notice the small things in life because it is the detail that reveals great moments,” R.B Wein.

 Often a times we take somethings for granted beause they seems trivial.But let me just tell you something,every little thing matter, in actual fact, it’s the littlest things that matter in life, because they build up to make something big and meaningful.

2.       “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well neither does bathing- that’s why we recommend it daily”, ZigZiglar.

Do you ever wonder why we drink water every day of our lives, of course you know, its because our bodies are like sponges they take in water uses it up for different health boosts and then excretes it as urine and sweat or other fluids we don’t want to talk about right now#laughs, the point is just like that our minds take in all the  teachings and inspirations we can get but after a while, we forget, that’s just human nature, therefore we need to be reminded every day. That is also why I created this platform, that you are motivated every day and never forget the important things in life.

3.      “Be yourself everyone else is taken”, Oscar Wilde

You don’t need to be someone you are not to be the best, you only have you, there is only one you that possesses your fullest potential, embrace your individuality.

4.      “When writing the story of your life, don’t let anyone else hold the pen”, Anonymous

Do not let anyone write your story for you, take full charge and control of your life because only your voice is authentic enough and knows all the high notes to pronounce. You are the author of your story

5.      “Man for the sake of getting a living forget to live”, Margaret Fuller

Often at times we chase money and wealthy forgetting the most important thing that we need to enjoy the wealth, life. Do not forget that the ultimate reason you need that money is for you to live to the fullest, live every moment like it’s your last.

6.      “Even if you’re on the right track, you will get run over  if you just sit there,” Will Rodgers

You need to constantly be on your feet to reach your fullest potential , things don’t just happen, not its not automatic, you have to be in action for it to manifest.

7.      “You may not know what results come of your action but if you do nothing there will be no result”, Mahatma Gandhi

I said it all in quote number 6, work for it to happen, it doesn’t just happen by itself. Also don’t just live the rest of your life wondering what could have been when you didn’t even try when you had the chance.

8.      “A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats little men”, Thomas Carlyle

No better way to express this point, is there ? The way you treat someone when you have power just says it all, everyone is important, regardless of how much power you have, you don’t know when you might need that little person’s help. We are all important in our own right.

9.       “With greater confidence in yourself and abilities, you will set bigger goals, make bigger plans and commit yourself to achieving objectives that today you only dream about”, Brian Tracy.

The way you see yourself, reflects in your work and presentation of yourself. Self-esteem goes hand in glove with attitude, it is a game changer. If you doubt yourself too much, it’s hard for you to take off.

10.   “We each decide whether to make ourselves learned or ignorant, compassionate or cruel, generous or miserly. No one forces us. No one decides for you, no one drags us along one path or the other. We are responsible for what we are”, Mainonides

This is the umpteenth time I have said this, no one owes you anything and no one is to blame for our misfortunes, because we have the most power to decide and choose in our lives. It might seem like we won’t be having any choice but look at it with a deeper eye, you always have a choice, we choose what we want, it could be because we want it easy or hard, we always have a choice…

Above all we only have one life (unless you have some super powers of resurrection or something super natural);  if you like the rest of us, you better live it the best way possible!!! Love to you all, I’m out!!!

#growth   #selfdevelopment #selfawareness

Battle of the mind Part 2

Hope i find you well my beloved, and i also hope you didn't miss me too much,I always do. I decided let me just give you the rest of this piece and finish what i started, i hope you learn a thing or two from it,enjoy and learn...

...How do we achieve to start taking action and make a difference in our lives and the people around us? Firstly, stop complaining!!! For it does nothing but makes you feel worse and bitter, because the situation becomes seemingly impossible to deal with or make better rightly so because when a statement or a lie is repeatedly talked of especially a negative statement or issue it becomes true and inclined and engraved in the mind that it becomes difficult to fight. It becomes tattooed to one’s identity and clings with them whenever and wherever.

This is true for us the young people, because we have been complaining a lot about the economy, that we are left vulnerable and easy prey to conflict entrepreneurs because we have told ourselves over and over that we have nothing left for us. The situation applies to our elderly parents who have viewed the youth as negative instruments to violence and the hub for problems that it has left us damaged and demoralized however there is still a way forward, we are agents and assets of positive development we are the power sources for a better Africa only if we start by empowering our minds for it is where battles are fought and won.

Positive Youth Development talks of the Youth as tools for positive change, because the youth are unstoppable, imaginative, fresh and still charged up willing to take risks and go an extra mile to make a change. It starts with one individual, it starts by believing that you can, it starts by brooding positivism into the mind. Even tried and tested Positive Reinforced gives us all a better view of how the mind functions. When you are rewarded for the good that you have done even verbally by being acknowledged of your hard work you have the urge to do more and even better. That is how the mind changes things in a blink of an eye. If the mind can do that then why not use it as a way to bring total change, positive change that is, and make a huge difference.

If you have brilliant ideas and strategies that might bring a positive change document it, and put it to use when you have fully given capacity to yourself and do not wait for someone to do it for you, Do it yourself. You are equally responsible for change as much as you think the next person is. Let go of all negativity buried in your mind. If someone with a set of legs, a set of hands, a face and who can eat as you can why can you not do it as well.

Let us all create a positive environment for ourselves, at least let us all do this for our very own good if the governments of Africa have failed us over and over, let us do ourselves the courtesy of bandaging our own wounds and stop complaining, look through deeper into our own talents and build a legacy that seems almost impossible however attainable if we feed the mind with positivism. For some people this might sound as mere utopia and fantasy however many Psychologists and intellects like Mark Bickhard argue that the environment affect the person therefore if we are ready for change if we are looking for better air to breathe and not be suffocated by distress and forever hanging agony, let us all take time to engage our minds personally and feed positivism into the mind, it is which that feeds the body to function better with renewed strengths and purpose. Know your worth, know your purpose and stand up.

It is important to acknowledge the origination of the philosophy and Science of mindfulness tracking it back into time as a concept so old it has been working for decades. The idea that changing one’s thoughts can change one’s reality is a cornerstone of Bhuddha’s philosophy who argued that “Your state of existence originate in your mind. Mind is its chief, and it is created by the mind. If you speak or act with a pure mind, happiness will follow you like your own shadow...” How far true this is, is rather contested by many, but one thing for sure you are what you think of yourself. If you think small of yourself then you are, if you think big, you would not want to disappoint yourself so you work really hard not to see yourself remain where you are. You work towards becoming better and you feel you have a purpose to fulfill, that is the whole sense of a positive mind having positive effects upon your personal life. Doubting this? Well try it!!!

Only you have the power to change your life. No one is going to come and knock on your door and say I have come to make your life better, if you come across such a person either they are going to steal from you and leave you even poorer or even worse shattered and disappointed you will never rise from the ground. If you want to be successful first believe that you can. By rewarding your mind with positivity, it rewards you back with positive energy and drive despite the predicaments surrounding you.

Pay attention to yourself, nurture your talents, explore, read find out what is going on and stay updated in a way that is constantly trying to break us, it is almost impossible to survive but we do anyway so there is a way where there is a will. The ups and downs that we all go through as individuals are there not to break us but to make us even stronger. Well it has actually become a song of the century but it is true that what does not kill you makes you even stronger, learn from your mistakes move on and feed on the positive energies in your life. Dwelling on the negative thoughts and feelings makes you a bitter person who will get old before they even reach forty years of age. It is amazing how the mind works. You feed into it what you want it to give you back, but of course only through working even harder.

Stop complaining, stop comparing yourself with others, stop procrastinating, start embracing your uniqueness, start believing in yourself and get out of your comfort zone!!! In the end you will find out that it was all worth it.

By Yours Truly 

Chriss

#positivemind #mindbattles #strengthovereverything

Battle of the Mind Part 1

Hello beautiful people i hope you all are great. Oh! you ever read something of your own and be like,oh i wrote this? Mmmm what influence was I under?  I just was in my files about to publish today's post and found this piece and i thought let me share it here, i hope you find it useful... It will come in two parts because it is rather long. So grab a cup of coffee, tea, glass of water or whatever food or drink that you best enjoy when you are reading and enjoy. This is rather an advice piece if i may say,so there you go...

“BATTLES ARE FOUGHT AND WON IN THE MIND” says one famous quote… which is where it all begins!!!

The reason why many of us do not make it in life is that we doubt ourselves all the time. Even when we know that it is us who came up the brilliant idea or suggestion we still seek someone’s approval to make it happen, someone who confirms that it makes sense whilst at the same time we selling off our brilliant ideas at no cost at all. Why for once will not you believe in yourself? The reason why some people make it in life is that they think of the very same idea and wait for no one to give them a go ahead that it is the right way to take and they make things happen. Ever wondered why some people go big in life starting from nothing at all, they make things happen. It all starts in the mind. The mind is the hub of all greatest technologies ever invented. It is in the mind where you tell yourself I will do it and you surely do it in the end.

The fact that you are not where you are supposed to be right now should be an indicator that should motivate you get out of your comfort zone.

After the realization that there are some things we rarely take seriously, but are those little things that if taken seriously can change our lives positively, it hit the surface that it is high-time we started to make these little things realized.

We barely believe in ourselves, our capabilities, what we are good at, oh well we do that very well, self-pity and lots of complaining. Who do I mean by “we”? I mean us the young people. Well at least I realized it did nothing for me instead it made me more bitter and bitter each day I complained and sobbed about the wrong things in my life without doing anything about it, would it change a thing if you complain? The answer is no. Did it change a thing for me, the answer is still no. I realized I had to be that person who makes things happen and stop complaining about the things that still stayed the way they were or even get worse because there is nothing that I was doing to make them change.

I am positive that most of us have come across the saying that says that there are three different kinds of people as far as making things happen is concerned: there are those that watch others make things happen and those who wait to see things happen and finally my favourite ones, well for everybody else I guess, those that make things happen, but, but it is not easy , hell is out there , it takes a strong will mind to make things happen and not be the one that waits for things to happen.

Surround yourself with doers and not wishers. Be the backbone that makes the body function and not the Jawbone that just does the talking or the wishbone that wishes and do not act, they say action speaks louder than words, yes they really do. Even the good book says,“ Bad company corrupts good character,’ the crowd you spend time with has an impact on the freewill of your mind. If you place yourself amongst hard workers, eventually you will be pushed to work hard, unless if you are really damaged goods that do a lot of complaining and comparing which is the wrong attitude towards life, you will never get out of it alive.

What is the point here? Point is; even if the situation is pressing you so hard and very much not allowing, if you wait for the right conditions to come you will never get anything done. Besides even opportunities await you to realize them, only when you knock through the door it gets opened for you, by just standing at the door and not knocking how do you expect the people inside to realize the need to open the door? There are even many a time when opportunities present themselves and we do not realize or identify them simply because we wait along assuming greatness is sown on perfect grounds, which is not the case.

Yes, right in your mind is where everything happens, just so you know your mind doesn't know the difference between reality and fiction. Ever wondered why you cry when you are watching a movie, and you actually know its just a movie, but you cry anyway? Your mind can "create" and "destroy"so take advantage of that...

We the young people should stop complaining a lot and stop not doing anything to help ourselves. Yes it is axiomatic that our economies are not allowing for us to flourish our potential but what are you doing about your situation? It is no secret that things are difficult, but they are like that for everybody. What will just complaining do? Will it make the situation better? Just like people who argue that money is the root of all evil, does not having it make you righteous? The same way complaining about bad situations whilst just lying idle would that make the situation better in any way? Begin to think on your feet. Use the talents that you already have, if you are good writer write, if you are good at art, do it, a journey of a thousand miles started with just a step. Get out of your comfort zone, explore all opportunities keep going, never back down, just when you are about to get there that is when it gets tougher... 

by yours truly Christine

It is important for you to note that your mind is the most powerful weapon you own,i have said this before and i will say it again. JUST DO IT, whatever your dream is, it's high time it stopped being a "dream" , make it a "plan"!!!  Part two is coming in a minute stay tuned...

Stay young, stay beautiful and be a game changer!!! XOXO

#mindbattles #yougotit #youhaveitall

A Love So Profound:Monday Writing Snippets...

A LOVE SO PROFOUND…

Let’s pretend the sky is our haven, the waters of the sea our bed, the air of the earth our breathe, Let’s pretend the world is ours, ours just two, within a distance never to be sustained. Let’s pretend the world is never coming to an end, with the strength that is buried deep within our muscles of love, let’s pretend eternity is ours, ours to us for ourselves…

Let’s pretend thorns are roses, dust of the earth our perfume and tears the rain that waters our secret garden of passion, the undeniable depths of the ocean the undeniable depth of our connection. A connection that runs to the roots of a friendship entwined…

Gifted with a love so deep, so deep it is buried under the chest of eternity, a love so profound I can hear the whispers it spreads; the silent loudest noise pierces my ears and quivers the deepest parts of my delicate body with a passion, a passion deeply embedded in the spines of life…

love is a beautiful thing, dont get it twisted!!!

A love so loud I can hear, so real I can touch, so unfathomable I can never vacate, the intensity of the gravity so heavy I cannot gush out of the entanglement of the puzzle. I hear a voice so strong, so strong it pulls me to the deepest end of the pool of compassion,       of trust, honesty, and the undeniable force of attraction…

The footprint set of the love that never sets us apart, engraved in the heart’s wall is a fruitful feeling engulfed in the helms of immortality, the tenderness of the temples of the body of a love so unexpected, it is utterly a feeling deep within the soul, a love so tender it completes the emotional bliss we are so blessed with!!!

#tbc #thereismore #lovewhichspeaksloud #loveliveshere

#Christine Matenga...

What Love Is Not...

In the beautiful month of love that we are… yes I am going to talk about love #laughs. I mean we all know this topic is exhausted it is literally screaming for help, it’s under depression from all of us talking about it, lying about it and defaming its character but oh I can’t help it, I’m just going to help murder it too by talking about it, I mean I feel it every day, (shout out to all those special loved ones in our lives , yeah I see the smiles)….Anyway I’m here not to talk about love in its wholesomeness but I want to talk about the misconceptions about love, what love is “not”, so we all go together from this onset. Love is forever existent in our lives, one thing I’m glad is never running extinct, we might not understand it that much, but I bet you it never runs dry, it is an overflowing hot spring.

Often a times we misuse the word love to fulfill our self-interests, to get whatever we want from whoever, sometimes we totally are just infatuated and pronounce it “love”, sometimes we really feel but never really don’t know how to act when we receive it because we don’t know it and a whole lot of issues, but have we really taken into consideration of the things that shape our perception of love itself.  Our minds are inevitably shaped by what we feed them and what we are exposed to. And because we are developing with our technology, what better way to shape our minds if not utilizing the media, the giant in the room yes the biggest culprits; the internet and TV. These in many ways than one have shaped our conception about almost everything and how could it be possible to leave out love, no ways.

Let me explain it to you the best way I know it, from experience. As I was growing up I read a lot about romance in the tiny books I always had in my hands, and the biggest culprit being “Mills & Boons”, these big M’s stole my reality #laughs, they literally took my reality of love and murdered it and buried deep within the earth’s mantle  it probably melted after being murdered, thank goodness I had an encounter with a real boy and oh did hell break loose, I started learning from zero what reality was real quick through the experience of a real heartbreak, with zero returns or hopes of my night in shining armor coming to destroy the heck out of my heart-breaker. I didn’t wake up the next day with a hundred apology letters in my letter box, or a ginormous bouquet of flowers and a cute letter apologizing, the hit was real, it was a blow, and I figured this is really how the world works, I felt betrayed. I had known all my life that love was just that, bliss and roses and nothing else, if he ever breaks your heart , you always find yourselves together and have a happily ever after. Nooooo!!!That is definitely not, love is definitely not that… It is something else, it is on its own level and we have done a really god job in making it what it is not, like I said we murdered it, you murderer, are you not ashamed?

Things that love is not: 

1.       Giving way too much time, resources, and your life basically to please or keep someone. If you find someone that makes you do that, RUN!!!!Or if you are someone who expects these from someone, hey you are toxic!!!  Nobody owes you anything, you love yourself first before being loved by someone, nobody owes you your happiness, rather you find it yourself and enjoy it with someone else, and it’s always lovely to share. LOVE DOES NOT TAKE, RATHER IT GIVES,ITS NOT SELFISH!!!

2.       Always agreeing in everything, the same mind, the same concepts, I mean both of you have identical opinions, hell no, if I am in a relationship with you and you agree with everything I say or do, something is wrong somewhere, either I am abusing you or you are lying and not being a hundred per cent real with me, (P.S my mind is everything good and bad, so if you agree to every teeny-weeny bit of it, mmm please get out!!!) We are all different people and have different opinions altogether, we might agree on most things, but we definitely see things differently, just because you love grey and I hate it (probably because I think it’s just bleeh and looks like a prison wall, and I love yellow and you hate it because you think it is too loud) this doesn’t mean that we don’t love each other, you know this is the simplest example right, there are more serious or even little things we disagree on but we are still compatible. So just because you are always disagreeing it doesn’t mean something is wrong, actually something becomes wrong if your way of dealing with that conflict or clash is violent or leads to a toxic relationship.  You can still disagree and fight like Tom and Jerry but still miss each other so much and you know that when the other is not there, you are incomplete (On this also remember I am not saying you are a half person without your other, NO, I mean you are a one whole full individual as your own and the other person is a one whole that first perfectly with your wholeness). LOVE ACCEPTS DIVERSITY AND GIVES EARS TO LISTEN AND TO LEARN MORE ABOUT THE NEXT PERSON!!!

3.       Without the other you cannot function, financially, socially, emotionally, oh oh!!! This is one recipe for disaster especially financially and socially. Imagine the other        losing their life and you were depended on them even though both of you provided whatever percentage of your finances, just because you were more dependent on them and  you weren’t able to completely sustain yourself without them, the end is tragic. You are two separate people who have two different lives although you share one thing, “a mutual”, feeling, dependency is not love especially when it comes to the part of friends. His friends are his, you are not forced to automatically become friends, if you click right away that’s fine but if you don’t, don’t force it, you already have enough drama with family, there always is in every family, if yours doesn’t have then oh, that’s great, but I know we all have enough drama in our lives, no need to compete with the friends and see who is liked the most by your Partner. LOVE IS FREEDOM TO CHOOSE, FREEDOM TO LIVE, AND FREEDOM TO INDIVIDUALITY; IT DEFINES YOU AS YOUR OWN PERSON!!!

4.       There is only one “the one” for you, if you miss them then you are doomed, you missed the bus man, just stake a long lonely walk to your destination or rather substitute the bus with a cart, after all do you have any choice. This is one thing I call a misconception, it does not work like that, whoever started this the one is only one person thing kills the vibe man, how many people are out here? Billions! And you mean there is one person who is capable to love you just the one way you were loved and if you miss them that’s the end of you. Think about it. The one is the person you connect with on a deeper level and it doesn’t have to be a hundred per cent kind of relationship but you know you connect. There isn’t only one person who can do that, contrary to popular belief that love is rare now, and true love is scarce to find, where are you looking for this love, the mountains? No wonder why it’s rare in your eyes #laughs, it’s right under your nose, look closely pay attention. Just because the person you think was the one turned out not to be or they passed way or such, it doesn’t mean they were the only one, there are many people who can love you just right if you stop comparing them to the one you thought was the one, open up and let that new person be their own person and appreciate for who they are. LOVE IS EVERYWHERE, IT GIVES SECOND CHANCE!!!

5.       The way you feel about someone generally determines the love you have for them. Hell no love is not a feeling, love is a decision. Imagine the way you feel when that one person you love so much hurts you and I am talking when they do because of their recklessness or indecisiveness or such think about the things that come into your mind, you want to reap them apart and throw them out or such, but in most cases you choose to let them stay, why is that, because you chose it, it is based on a decision, it might not make sense but look deep into it. Because feelings change every other time based on different things if you are hungry or such they seize to define a relationship that stays for five decades. Love is a choice, is an act of will, you actually decide to love and give it a chance. Revisit the kind of love you have, because if you do only based on feelings, then it’s nothing, but only runs on the surfaces. LOVE IS A DECISION!!!

I will leave it here for today, so you can process this and let me know how you see love…Let Love Live within all of us, I mean REAL LOVE!!! Rethink what you mean, when you say “I LOVE YOU”, because there is a possibility you might be meaning something else other than the actual four letter word “L.O.V.E”.

#monthoflove #LOVE #loveliveshere

Regrets? No!!!

…Live a life full of lessons not regrets, it might seem like one after being in the situation or after being hurt, but you will look back and laugh at yourself for crying about it,and see it was just a lesson after all…’ Christine Matenga

Let me just say I have done a lot of things I am not proud of and half of the time (wasting my precious never to be recovered time, nxaaa) I regretted it and blamed myself for being stupid and all that stuff, but failed to see the other half of the time I also did a lot of great things I am supposed to be grateful for and pat myself at the back. All I am saying is I finally realized that, whatever I did at that time, in fact most of the time was necessary and nobody forced me to do anything it was all me and my sometimes rotten mind (wanted to use the "s" word but the good person in me, is always responsible) which always thinks I’m in control, man sometimes I’m a nut head. All the same the horrible things I did taught me lessons that are now engraved deep down in me and have made me a better person, whatever horrible thing you did, or mistake you are always regretting , come on, is this the life you want to live, of regretting things you already did and waste your precious time, huh? Is that how you want your life to turn out, wasted years. Move on already, come on you tortured yourself enough.

imagine never getting lost and getting there easy, hmm is that fun?

Most of the time we do the most irrational things out of love ( the usual culprit arggh, once or twice i was a casualty of this one), out of instinct or out of necessity, and at that time you will be seeing that as the best decision for that moment, but as time goes on you start thinking otherwise. And why is this so? Sometimes it is because you now know better, or you have seen better and you start questioning your wits. I know you know exactly what I mean, you don’t? You want to pretend you don’t? Alright let me enlighten you  a little… 

You ever met or looked at one of your exes really closely and think, ”oh my goodness, whatever happened to my judgement, was I blind? Oh my word what did I do? What was I thinking?”, you even want to divorce yourself. But one thing though, we all know when we were in the relationship we saw heaven on earth and at that moment that person was the right person for you,or at least that's what you thought. Whatever the circumstances that led you two to separate you know for yourself, but it couldn’t have been so bad sometimes it is because you just outgrow that person and start seeing them as not good for you anymore, in some cases you two just cannot work, sometimes its distance which happens, sometimes its drama, but either way you once loved that person a whole lot but when you see them now you are like what the hell was wrong on me, was I high on something? (yes you were, its called love, after all its blind,#laughs).

My point is, this is exactly the same that happens with some decisions we make in our lives. We do things based on necessity or instinct and we always want to fulfill our desires and reach our aspirations and dreams that we do certain things. The point is to grow, is to achieve whatever we want to, but for us to grow there are certain things we have to do in life, for us to learn there are certain things we have to do. When you were young and your mother told you do not touch the flame of a candle, did you ever stop playing with it, unless you were really, really not curious and just a dumb boy/girl, you listened, or let me speak for myself, I was notorious, just the one thing I was told not to do, I walked right into its face and poked it, I was experimental and so keen to see new things, I would touch the flame with the whole two hands, and guess who got burnt, me. The next time I see a candle lit I would just play far from it. lesson learnt, but did i regret touching the flame,probably not,it just gave me better ideas of playing with it, Christine next time we using a wire hanger or a stick to poke it because your hands have flesh and blood, see, it made me smarter, see?

no regrets , just lessons!!!

 There was always a lesson for me, not to climb trees, not to play with knives, not to play with fire, not to disrespect my mother, and it all came from the dumb decisions I always made before learning that lesson. MORAL OF THE STORY ; for us to be better, to learn , to know better, we should learn from our mistakes, our dumb decisions, our not so wise choices, and take them as that; lame choices turned lessons. There is no point in living with regrets rather take the lessons with you, move on already, do not be the thief of your own time, your own happiness, live your life to learn lessons and never repeat the same mistakes, because if you do then you are nothing but merely stupid, unless if it necessary #laughs, I also have exceptions sometimes but at the end of the day I also am stupid sometimes, l am human after all, #laughs. BE SMART!!!

 #noregrets  #conquer2019 #movingon

Are you having Suicidal thoughts? Listen, you are not alone!!!

Welcome back, to those who are visiting for the first time hello, it’s your girl Christine who puts a little bit of Chriss in every detail and is here to hang-out with you talking about life and a little bit of everything, the ultimate goal is growth here, so feel free to share your views and if you have any topic about self-development you want to talk about just do your thing in the comment box.

Today’s topic is a serious topic that is more taboo than it is sensitive in an African Society and it makes so mad and sad unfortunately, (I say unfortunately because for people who know me, they know you don’t want to mess with me when I’m mad, I’m like a teenager with raging hormones, full blown madness). We are talking about suicidal thoughts and what causes it, and how the African society takes some of the things as taboos that cannot be seen or heard of , let alone talk about , but it is what can build or destroy our societies. I recently had an experience with the “life is short”, sentiment when someone close to family almost lost their life and it awakened me from the death of silence that the African people’s voice is as far as mental issues are concerned. The voice is a mere whisper, almost a loud silence, and it is high time we spoke about this.

It is never the answer...IT IS IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE!!!

Suicidal thoughts are not “merely evil spirits haunting a person”, it is more than just thoughts, it is psychological, a mixture of depression, not being heard, not having someone to talk to, high vulnerability, anger, hurt, despair, trauma and a whole lot of issues, I repeat it is not just mere evil spirits overtaking a person it is more than just a person being possessed by something it is psychological. Remember your mind is the most powerful tool in your life, it can build at the same time it can destroy; it has complete power over your life a power which we all need to keep in check. It tells you, confidence gives you many things and if it builds in excess ,confidence destroys, if it tells you , you are worthless, it switches up the volume so high up the only option is to end all, you see the power that the mind possesses, its deep.  

Misconceptions in the African societies on mental health have always clouded our minds when we encounter someone experiencing them we label the person as crazy or possessed, and in that case they need to be beaten to retain their sanity, we need to visit this spiritualist or that, but is it really going to address the root cause. It makes me so mad our societies as far as this issue is concerned are still so far back and we need to learn more on the topic. There is a whole lot of education that needs to be given to our societies and begins with you and me. People have issues, I mean we all have issues, but to some they are too much, some cannot handle them by themselves, but most cannot, we need each other, we need therapy, we need to talk, we need to speak freely about issues affecting us, there is more to life than just getting everything you want at your disposal, we are humans we need to feel loved and have a sense of belonging.

I will take this moment to shout out to mothers out there, talk to your children, give them love, give them attention, more than the resources you provide for them, they need those and of course they appreciate those, even if they have a funny way of showing it, they need love, we all need it. Of course there are things that we go through in our lives that are beyond our control, but we can do so much to protect our children, our partners, our sisters, your family and all the other people close to us.  Likewise to everybody keep in check of your loved ones, create time to talk about life in general. If we cannot at least talk lets us show love, kindness, a giving hand, not be violent, sleep well, eat well, be observant, listen and care for each other. Depression is real and when it hits it eats up to the inner-core, I have had episodes myself and all I did was cry and it even made things worse. Nothing is ever too small; lend an ear and a shoulder you never know who needs it. Above all seek for professional help; there are people who are qualified to help with this very sensitive issue, and safe a life!!!

Always remember: “Suicidal thoughts are temporary, but suicide is permanent. Suicidal thoughts are not reality, it is just illness talking, you have every reason to live to see the day you make yourself and your loved ones proud, and you need to be present to enjoy the feeling.”

Life is too short, appreciate the people around you, be grateful, be open, there is more for you in life, and when you fail, it is second chance to give it another shot, taking away your life only creates more problems for the people you love that are left behind. Life is all the answer you need, it has a hundred fold versions of answers to everything, and death is definitely not one of those. Lets speak more on the issue of mental health and acknowledge it is what it is "mental health", and not witchcraft...Help me to help us!!!

#notosuicide #yestolife #yestomorelove #fightthesilence #conquer2019