Truth be told : Facts about life

Hello my beautiful people, just checking up on you, and making sure you do not run "Life Lessons Dehydration", your girl always got you. I posted this a day sooner, who said we couldn't, let's just say we taking nature's flow and do it just when that one person needs to hear it ( coming from a deep place of love).  Everyday is a learning day, life is a learning process and for that we never run out of lessons. As i was just going through the day minding my own business lazying around at work today, a number of people came to visit our office and they had a lot to talk about. 

I sat there and just listened as the older people conversed and this is what I learnt and thought it was worth to share and like always be reminded of these every day, and when it starts to fade, please come back, read it and learn a little bit more. You maybe lost in a way, but please be lost in the right direction, let's all be the lost in the right direction, that one which accidentally leads to self- awareness,self-love and ultimately self-development.

Some of these things we tend to forget about or rather some don't even pay attention to them but they remain true regardless of us disregarding them anyway. I will mention just a few of them and have you look at yourself,pay attention to your life and the people around you, and revise your upkeep and how you relate with the world surrounding you. It's that simple right? Hell no, you need to constantly wok on yourself and be better with age as you grow and take on the journey of life. The journey is a quite interesting one, I'm sure you know this. Right, let's get on with it !

1. Your dream is allowed to change : A passion is based on feelings so does dreams, and feelings change, that's just how it is, you are not a robot , and definitely not programmed to just follow programming.You change with age, with the environment, with time. So it's allowed, its never too late to start to pursue other things, totally new altogether. Don't judge yourself and if they do, then so what, the more the reason for you to pursue that new dream for your self-actualization.

2. Self-Confidence isn't always constant: Yes, time always has a way of changing things for the better or the worst and that shouldn't make you any lesser of a person should it. Just because you were so confident about yourself just yesterday and you feel a bit different, it's not a bad thing, it's no like you are failing, you are not. Pay attention to yourself and see what's going on around you, what has changed, what are the people around you doing and what is making you lose your self-confidence, it could be the people around you, and unfortunately it could be yourself, sometimes we are our own vampires, luckily this can be fixed.Pay attention.

3. It's easier said than done: Yes, saying you will do this,or you will do that is one thing, actually doing it is another. Are you a talker, or a doer, what are you? For you to be a writer we have to read the work you have written right, rather than your words from your lips we cant read with our eyes. It's that black and white. No two ways about it. Unless you have some magical wand that makes things done just as you say it out and boom.  Doing them gains you a respectable space in the achievements department, imagine how good it feel to say something to life and actually finish what you started. It's an amazing feeling, and the more you think about small stuff,do them and make them a reality, the easier it becomes for tasks that seem even bigger.

pic cred: imgflip.com

4. You are an immortal being, to be frank with you, "you are going to die": Yes need I say more? I know right, some scary shnoodles right in front of us. The bottom line is, you are not going to live forever, so what do you do ? LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST,how? Figure it out you are a smart being. Use your time wisely, create meaningful relationships,spend time with the people that give meaning to your life, do what you love, live for a reason, find happiness, find things you love doing and do very much of those, my Nikey friends then shout, "Just do it!"

5.Time Lost is never recovered: You might be living tomorrow but you will never see today again. That's just it. Time is a valuable resource , please use it wisely, just like your life. Every minute lost, is just that, lost, you can only do better the next hour coming. Time management is a skill we all need to master, if we are going to make a positive impact and achieve our goals in a SMART way.  

6. Not all family is blood : There are very many relationships, friendships that turned into family, value those because we don't choose family, but for a friend to choose to be your family, that's just big, that is real love. Keep them closer for they won't only be in your life on your burial day based on blood relations, just a mere obligation, really?, but friends turn family, are the ones that know you inside and out, and those are a few. Keep these gems.

7. Material wealth will not make you a better person or a happier one at that: Do I honestly have to elaborate any further on this one? Please spare my fingers, i want to save them for typing something not self-explanatory . You can by everything and anything in the world but if you do not recognize the importance of every created human being, then you are very poor, periodt ! You might buy followers, people who work for you, live in private jets, but you are still empty. Your money might buy you a status but if you do not have love inside of you,you might donate all the money you can but you will never buy real happiness and peace. Money is much but it is not entirely Everything.

8. The most important things in life are: family , friends, purpose, freedom, time,  peace, love and health. Finally this is sort of a comeback  from number seven, you might have money that buys you everything else but if you do not have these, then what's the worth of your coins? Always remember that real love is not bought, the most beautiful things in life are free and can be felt through the heart. Pay attention.

Always remember to stay true to yourself, to love and value your person and embrace your uniqueness. The ball is in your court to throw it, bounce it, pass it on , stay in your arms or whatever makes you sleep peacefully at night. Take charger of the one life that you were gifted with and make a difference in your life and that of others.Stay Beautiful. 

Let's keep growing together. Lots of love, spread it out , xoxoxo!

#lifelessons #lifereflections #growth

Who am I?

Time Flies : The other side of 2019

Half the year is officially gone with an extra month and we are anticipating taking on the few months left of it. I mean the year just went past through just like that, I hope you haven’t let it butcher you with it. Every year comes with its own wholly awesome drama and I have had a fair share of mine. Major moves took charge of my life some very positive and very berry but others bad and very peppery, and of course we always have the middle ground, regardless I am still pushing for the best.

I hope you haven’t given up yourself, life really has so many lessons in which it gives us if we pay attention to detail our lives are changed for the best on the way. Because of all these moves, changes, dramas, and a whole lot of life itself we tend to lose ourselves and forget our whys. Do not worry, just be awakened. Your mental health comes first, for you to take on the world and ride those goals like a boss, you need to be in the right state of mind, remind yourself of the following (I wholesomely need to be constantly reminded of these too :

Who Am I?

Who are you really? Do you understand yourself, your identity? Where you come from and where you are going? What’s going on with your life? What drives you? What takes you down? What gives you power? What are your strengths and weaknesses? All these play a major role in defining who you are. Losing your identity with the rest of the world, makes you forget or lose touch with your uniqueness in turn making you go with the winds and makes you lose focus. Are you willing to lose yourself and lose meaning of your life? With the constant life pressures, the pain , the loses the grief I have gone through in life and especially the year 2019, I somehow found myself asking myself some questions that I didn’t have answers to but I never stopped, well I never stop reminding myself of who I am, plus no-matter the hurdles every year also brings beauty in our lives, so I mean why should you not be reminded of the boss you are.

 I am one strong woman that is not defined by pain, but by the power of healing and forgiveness I highly possess. I am a beautiful strong woman with the power to move in positive light even when everything else is dragging me down. I am a woman who chooses love and light, and I am a woman who has chosen to be a light in other people’s lives even as I seek to find more of it myself, I am a woman defined by a positive mind-set, and what I say I am, I am, what I say I will do, I do and what I set my mind on , I pursue. I am a winner! Do you know who you are? Who are you?

What do I want out of Life?

At the end of the day what really do you want out of life? What are your goals, your ambitions, your plan and how far are you willing to stretch to get these achieved? How far can you stretch without compromising your elasticity and your quality, your values, your person? How far would you go to see you get the ultimate goal achieved in your life, right by you? (Today we are playing that game, yes that one that doesn’t have a name your five year old curious niece or nephew does to you, let’s call it the “ready to hit on life head on” game). Yes, that one of a million questions. If you are easily annoyed by questions, then how best can I help you my friend bear with me we are dissecting the meaning of life here, you need to hear this.

My ultimate goal in life is to be happy; I want happiness out of all this. I could grow wealthy and significant in the society, but with no happiness it’s all meaningless, isn’t it? That’s what I am trying to reach at right now. I want to be happy and give happiness, brighten up my world and the next person’s world, I do not want to be a failure, like everybody else I don’t think there is one soul that aspires to be a failure, but how much am I willing to sacrifice? That’s a painful thought right there. Sometimes we have to lose the best part of ourselves to reach for growth and sacrifice the now for a happy tomorrow, I mean it hurts, and it hurts so bad, trust me I know, but at the end it is all worth it, for your ultimate goal to be reached. In my case I strive to bring light in my life in form of happiness as much as I want to for the people that I love and those that do not even know me. What do you want out of life? What are you doing to get it?

What are the lessons learnt from my mistakes?

Hey there! How are you? How far have you gone in life without making any mistakes? I thought so too, you are not perfect, you are human, you were designed to learn from your mistakes and from the past in general and do not deny yourself the privilege to learn that way. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you are only yourself and like I always say, perfection is a myth, thus embrace yourself flaws and all, mistakes included, cause that is exactly how we learn. The dumb thing to do is pursue perfection and not excellence, whilst at it running away from mistakes or being way too careful, way too serious for nothing at the same time not being able to live a hundred per cent truthful life to self in the name of avoiding mistakes and pursuing perfection, you might come out of it alive, but less experienced in terms of life. Too many rules make you miss out all the fun in life.

I am speaking from experience; too many rules deprived me of my happiness and mere enjoyment of life. I always was too rigid, too serious and too careful in life and missed out a whole lot of my teenage life, I mean I am grateful for the person it made me turn out later on , but man, I was too tough on myself, all in the name of being careful and not making mistakes. Long and short of it, don’t be like me, just live your life, I have learnt that now, don’t be an over-thinker, live your best life ( just make sure you are not taking advantage of the next person to please your own darn self, that’s not nice #ok listen to little miss nice me popping#). Make mistakes learn from them, and learn not to repeat them, because repeating them makes you a stupid person, get that right, and note the difference.

Learn from the bad decisions you have made before, learn what worked and what didn’t, how and where to improve, how to do better next time and see yourself flourish and grow beautifully. Life really doesn’t have a formula really, take it as it comes, and live with no regrets. If you follow too many rules, you are just limiting yourself and you will not have any mistakes to learn from, how sad. I am being just real and open with you right now, just live your life, take risks, explore, make as many mistakes as possible until you get it right, we learn to walk from falling as many times as possible. If a child paid attention to the many mistakes they made in their development stages of growth and say “maybe this is not for me”, this world could be full of old man and women who cannot walk or talk, what a sad world. Learn from the past mistakes and grow, period!!!

With this, I rest my case for today, don’t let the year pass you by just like that. Reclaim your place, take charge and repossess your life, it’s for you to live and you only got one shot at it. It’s for you to live. The few months left are for you to make major positive impact in the world, own it!!! Let’s grow together !!!

#conquer2019 #reflections #growth #lifelessons

DIARY OF A 25 YEAR OLD AFRICAN GIRL…

DIARY OF A 25 YEAR OLD AFRICAN GIRL… (It will not stay the same)

“Dear Diary…

Just as I woke up today I lost all power to get out of bed, because I know ,I just know that the day isn’t going to be any different, same old as it was the last 2 years. I cannot believe how excited I was on my graduation day in one beautiful month of November. I had so much energy, so many hopes and desires and the very best of them a hope for a job just as I had always thought, I was going to be a Lawyer with full potential walking so graciously in my black well fitted suits and calling “yes your honour”, “objection my Lord” and all the fascinating expressions lawyers make, but was I right, NO!

I feel LONELY by the day, I feel even lost and confused, I do not understand what is going on in my life, and nobody told me it was going to be like this. They didn’t teach us about this predicament when we were still in school, they didn’t tell us it was going to be this hard.

I feel FEAR every day of my life, I don’t know the direction my life is taking. I have lost friends because of my insecurities that I project to them, and the way I recklessly speak to them without paying attention. I have lost my intentionality and I just do things unplanned and just however way. I am afraid of being a failure its eating me up every day. Talk about all the hopes my mother had, oh I am a disappointment.

I feel ANGER at the social system and everybody in it, why is it like this? Where am I going? I look outside my world and its chaotic, most of my university colleagues are working as shop attends, hustling, being vendors. My fellow friends who have attained high class and very satisfactory results just as I did are just roaming the streets without any plan. Is this what we signed up for?

I feel LEFT OUT AND BEHIND, how could this be possible, I am 25 and with literally nothing, no job, no car, no decent phone, literally nothing, not even confidence, I don’t know how to fix it. I need help, please something, I need a job, I have no idea where I am going. I am so scared. I am sad and want to cry every time, please God help! When is change going to come?

Yours always

Me…”

Can anyone relate to this? I know there are many of us who have gone through this, some are going through it right now, some will soon go through it ( sadly enough, though I wouldn’t want us to dwell in our loses and negativity I wish it could be a bit different and nobody had to go through this at all), it’s a continuous struggle and it is real. And it is what is eating up many of our young people of this generation. 

Some are totally failing to deal with it and fall into depression, some are completely giving up hope and just going by the wind. But is it really the end? Do you think it really is the end? You are not alone.

Take it from this point of view: Your 20s aren’t the final years of your life, though they build a foundation of the rest of your life, it’s not the end, they are actually a means to an end. So listen, whatever you are going through is not the end. 

This is the time to figure out what you really want out of life. To figure out your talents, to find yourself, the greatest five years to your 30s that will have endless possibilities in finding the self. This is not the time to feel like a failure. All the emotions mentioned above, I have passed through and the frustration is real, it is rather too visible, but let me tell you from what I have gone through myself. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.  Almost everybody has gone through this phase, unless if you are privileged enough to be born in a well-off family where everything has always been set up for you (lucky you, never take it for granted), we all pass through this phase, and it is important to look out for self, to hold self from falling into depression.

It takes time but everything falls into place if you are careful and not lose yourself, you need not lose your precious self. I have gone through this phase so I know exactly what I am talking about. I figured instead of throwing the pity party, I should really do something about this. I rekindled the fire with my writing and other areas I am passionate about and found a love I had never known existed, I even found opportunities I could have not been aware of had I stayed in my shell throwing a pity party for myself. I found an escape and even invested my time in it, and boy was I right.

All I am saying is this is not the end. Your mental health should always come first and never be neglected; you need your insanity to finally enjoy yourself when you reach that place that you always wanted to. Commit time to finding things you love doing and do these more often. Whilst trying to earn a living, try volunteering first, selling something even though everybody out here is selling something, you will be shocked that in an economy that is so bad some people just like you are thriving. Be innovative, sell your talents, and acquire new skills.

Your degree is not final, venture into other disciplines, try something new, just do something and not remain the same. Stop complaining and start doing. Think deep about this and take action, if you want to remain the same or if you want to move, it is all in your hands. I am not exactly where I want to be but I have not stopped pursuing what I want, exploring and looking into other fields. You are allowed to study again in a new area or advance your education in the area of your interest, just don’t stop moving until you find something. Meet new people, go places, that’s how you get connected, don’t just stay in your shade, that’s how you drown in your sorrows and fall into depression. Keep moving, you will definitely get there, and when you get into your mid-thirties you will smile back and appreciate yourself for never giving up.

This is for everyone like me, who have experienced unemployment, underemployment, (“little-or-no-employment”, “employmentlessness” and many other self-invented words to describe the state of not working) whatever that relates to having no job, no plan or experiencing the evils of distorted social strata. Besides blaming the other institutions, how much effort have you put in yourself, think about it, and start doing something, JUST START AND START NOW!!!

Always remember to love yourself enough to respect your future and guard your legacy. You are unique, everybody else is taken! Let us grow together!

#lifelessons #reflections #selfdevelopment