So long April: April Growth

GROWTH:  APRIL WISDOM

Hey my lovelies, I hope I find you well, I am pretty good, well much better than I was a week ago. Coming here to share a thing or two always makes me so liberated and happy. Each time I don't do it I feel like I haven’t visited my therapist forever, and it’s my greatest wish that every other day you drop by to find comfort and peace just like I do.Just a reminder, whoever you are just know that you have a friend in me, one who will listen whenever you feel like sharing anonymously, through email or commenting, Lets grow together. I would also love to extend to my gratitude to every one of you who checks up on me when I go MIA, or go too quiet for too long, It’s always a good feeling to know that you are living and some people actually think of, encourage you and always once in a while want to hear from you, I do it for you, I do it for us, Thank you.

So here I am just minding my own busy and constantly paying attention and learning from my environment and people around me with the ultimate goal of achieving growth, the month of April sure managed to throw many life lessons to my face, and for that I am grateful. I would like to share a number of lessons I learnt from this beautiful month of April (I secretly wish it ends already, I mean it sure wasn’t one of the best this year). We told ourselves to see beauty in every situation, so give yourself some credit, you are learning beautiful, tell yourself “one step at a time”, we are getting there. I hope you get reminded of these things, and always remember that growth is necessary, and sometimes it comes in really uncomfortable means, so be ready to be out of your comfort zone, if you wish to keep moving. Learn a thing or two.

·         You are the seed that was buried, they didn’t know you will strive and be the biggest ,most fruitful tree:

You are too special to be buried underground sweetheart, when they tried to bury you they had no idea you have germination powers, they prepared a stage for you, you didn’t know existed. Had they not buried you, you could have remained a dry seed that was barely going to see its fruition. I learnt that sometimes for me to grow I need to be planted, buried deep under so that I will fight through the ground and be someone even much more worthy. I learnt this the hardest way, and I still am but April had some of this education in store for me, it sure delivered, man it did!!!

 

Rejoice to you fruition, you are a buried seed germinating to its best ability, you will grow to be a big tree that will provide the best shade and the juiciest fruits!!!

·         No matter what, there are those few people that will root for you, they always have, they always will:

Never ever think that you are alone, sometimes it might feel like so but trust me, there is always someone always cheering you on, wishing you the best, praying for you, giving you support. I know sometimes we wish that these people be loud about it, show it vividly, but trust me they already are, just sometimes when we are going through bad it always feel magnified and more than it really is, it’s always so loud and seems so big, we barely see clearly but these people are always there. You are never alone. Just let them love you, let them in, give them more than you expect to get from them, open up, try to see from a clearer view, you can do it, you just don’t try hard enough, because you are always feeling pain in its magnified form, trust the mind has power it pulls unimaginable stunts.

·         Its ok not to be ok :

Your struggles are real, and they are allowed, you are human not a robot, you have feelings and of course it’s going to hurt. Just because you are a positive person, and you try to remain positive and see good in every situation, it’s not a crime to feel vulnerable, to cry, to feel pain, to feel weak. You are a person that lives with people, and sometimes people as they are disappoint you, take advantage of you, hurt you and all sorts, the world is real, it’s a brutal truth but the world is evil, admit that some days are worse than others, its liberating, you will always leave room for disappointing, don’t be naïve like I am sometimes.

 I grew up over-protected with love and everything, I was taught to love, to be kind, to give and give too much, I thought still do think that people are as nice as I am and I allow them to hurt me in the process (and I am learning to leave room for disappointment and not give people too much credit), but it could be happening to you, you give too much and just are naïve of the brutality in the world, its ok to cry and hurt, its ok to admit that it happens, forgive and move on, but allow yourself to hurt and learn.

·         Not all that glitters is gold:

I’m sure that you have heard this a gazillion times, but yeah you might have forgotten and my purpose here is to remind you, that not all that is glamorous is exactly as that. Usually people show us what they want us to see, I do that too, everybody does, who wants to show their dirty laundry in public, NOBODY, and with this social media technology blessed us with, everybody is a millionaire and is making it in life #laughs, it’s a sham ya’ll, don’t envy so and so’s relationship, lifestyle and all that you don’t know what’s happening behind closed doors, that’s as far as we can go , Instagram and the slammed shut doors. Mind your own business, and make sure it flourishes at your best pace, do not envy anyone. Of course we are human, we are made to compare, to be envious, to want the best, let it be a drive to you working smarter at your relationship, your passion, your job, whatever it is, Just know that not all that looks glittery is actually glittery.

·         Love is a beautiful thing:

Of course I didn’t just learn only negative, c’mon you thought April was just bleeh all the way, No! It has its own beautiful highlights, I got a friend who got married and we had like one of the most funniest days ever in April. Love goes a long way and it builds families and relationships and lasting friendships, I got my own share and I am loving it. Also no matter what I am going through like I already mentioned I have  people who unconditionally love me and I am constantly reminded of their undying love, I mean I am one of the hardest people to love, I am a nut-head and difficult most of the times, but I am loved regardless and like always love conquers all, every time, Love wins always remember that.

·    Just as much as you are secretly a threat to someone’s existence, you are a role model in another’s life:

This is another good thing I learnt in this month, that always have good intentions because someone looks up to you, whatever you do, do it  the best way possible so you keep inspiring the one person that looks up to you whilst you are unaware. I was really shocked to find out that there are people who actually look up to me and also wish me well. I was put on spot, I don’t want to lie , but in a good way, I was motivated to never give up, because if I ever do the one or two persons I am an inspiration to will have less people to look up to and I don’t want that to happen. Not on my watch.

 

Meeting life head on like...develop a strong positive attitude towards life and meet it head on...

 As much as you would like to deny it, there are things you do right, and you do them even better someone appreciates that and you keep them going, Always remember to give your best shot, anywhere, everywhere on anything and everything because someone is watching to learn from you, you don’t want to let them down, they are counting on you.

Always be reminded of these things and you are a Step forward to living and /or maintaining your best life and of course GROWTH!!!

#welivetolive #Conquer2019 #growth

Wholesome Work Drama : Life Lessons 101 !!!

“We were born different, with different talents, ambitions, dreams and goals, our History shapes us and we are all diverse in a big beautiful world that has room for all of us to flourish” … Christine Matenga

Why can’t we just let all of us flourish together?”  The million dollar question $$$

I should start by saying hello beautiful people,  it’s been a while since I’ve posted here, I missed the whole of last week, not because I didn’t have anything to post, I always have a lot to share but I just was tired and drained because a lot has been happening in my life and for the most part of last couple of weeks I was an emotional wreck, yes, I struggle a lot with controlling my emotions and not taking things personally but I mean what I was going through at work was outright personal and I just couldn’t not break down. As a human being sometimes you are just hit in the face so hard and can’t help it but just let yourself feel and release the bad energy, the short of it is that I am a crier #laughs, I cry a looooooot so to let it all out and I feel a bit better afterwards. The only good thing out of the last couple of weeks was having a friend of mine getting married, that made me excited and happy it kept me off the crying radar, for the most part, Congratulations Melody on your union , i am proud of you.

So I wrote the opening statement of this post from the deepest depths of my heart because I know that we all have a potential to reach our greatest heights and there is definitely room for all of us to achieve this. But a life lesson I have received lately, taught me that , “well some other people think otherwise, not every person that smiles at you and live with you seventy per cent of your time likes you the way you like them ,” It’s that simple. Just because you are generally a nice person, don’t ever make a mistake to think that everybody is equally as nice. That’s being naive I learnt the hard way (however another huge lesson from it all, don’t lose your niceness, you will lose yourself in the process and we still need nice people around. Eh but honestly it’s so tempting to feel blood and war in your veins and badly plot vengeance, I low-key, just low-key am so tempted, I’m just being honest #laughs, I won’t do it though, karma is a Bee you know it catches up with you one day or the other).

You must be wondering what really happened to me, well it’s not really a big deal, but coupled with other things it kind of became a biggie to me. I will try to share as much as possible using as little information as possible so that no one will be hurt here, yeah, right. So as I was sitting pretty minding my own business I received a message from management that there was a complaint that I am incompetent, inadequate and in simple words a liability rather than an asset to the company, yeah and I was bad for business. This news came from the very top meaning that the complaint had come from within the very closest yet I had not known about this, never had I been warned or such from the bottom part of the ladder which is my end.

 

That came as a shock yeah? Right I never expected it, and this meant everything bad on my side. It meant I just outright was painted black, in my mother tongue we call it “kusungirirwa pamuchinjikwa”, directly translated it means “being nailed on the cross”, and honestly this is exactly what it felt like, the pain of that you can only imagine. This meant potentially losing the respect I had earned from my seniors, my colleagues and probably myself, I mean self-doubt, its real I told you about it in my previous posts. (Just as you think you are taking off, flourishing and everything good, a hard blow comes, right in your face), I broke down. Had I not had a strong support systems we could be talking about something else right now, I don’t know what, I just know it could have been bad. This is basically the short of it, the long you won't like it. But like always we are always looking on the brighter side:

This is to growing up (wine glass raised up), outright celebration to growing up and learning lessons. For the past month( I was privileged enough to be enlightened), I have learnt a lesson or two, especially in the workplace:

·         It is what it is, a workplace and not your father’s house, nobody is family, its rude but its true. There is a certain level of understanding you can reach with your colleagues but don’t expect anything more, trust or loyalty or such related mushy thing, it’s like a school mate kind of relationship, no hard feelings but definitely no closeness or else somebody is going to get hurt at some point. Don’t get me wrong, some beautiful friendships are founded at work, but that’s not a total guarantee, know your place. Not everybody believes that there is room for all of us to flourish “together”.

·         Don’t be too nice and welcoming, keep your distance and maintain a working relationship. We usually are too friendly and open with some colleagues but before you do, ask yourself, “is it worth it?, where will this lead, real friendship or competition? Obviously don’t expect the worst, but stay woke until you get to a point where you know for sure who you are working with.

·         Although it is personal, don’t take it personally , if ever something happens, navigate through it, I am doing that, #man its frigging difficult, I’m always praying for strength, God knows I am, it’s still taking most of my strength I don’t want to lie, but when I look around me at work, I smile, low key saying “and then how much money did you get paid to see my downfall, please let’s share it because I guess I have the royalties after all, it’s my name that made you rich # low-key jumping up and down in my trampoline of feelings. I’m now enjoying it because guess what “I’M ALIVE”!!!

·         Forgiveness: it comes back again, this is key!!! I forgive you,  I legit do, for everything really. I forgive myself for being too nice, and thinking everybody is nice, man sometimes I’m just boringly naïve. Christine I forgive you even after you always do this, he nicest doesn’t count anymore, slowly learn who deserves it and who doesn’t. I don’t regret any of it, It’s a learning curve for me, I learnt a whole lot and I am grateful that I have added some more  weight to my growth. Please learn with me, I wouldn’t ever want for you to go through what I just experienced.

·         Always remember that not everybody understands that we can flourish together, so please forgive them before they even hurt you. And Revenge is not the answer no matter how you are tempted to.(I low-key  am always tempted, I don’t want to lie, but I never ever give in . Its human to err but never ever give them a chance to hurt you again , fool me once shame on you , fool me twice shame on me).

Always remember to be there for the next person, don’t ever kick them in the stomach especially when they are down, and always know that there is space for all of us to flourish especially when we were all born unique. Never be tempted to compete with someone at work, especially when they don’t know that you are in a competition with them (doesn't that qualify as cheating?), the problem is they don’t know that you are competing with them. it will turn poisonous on your side. Don’t be bitter, say it out if you have a problem with someone, you never know, you might just work it out all better, than playing snitch, TRUST ME IT BACKFIRES!!! Stay positive , I am…

And like always feel free to share your story and give tips on how you managed to deal with your kind of work politics, so we can all flourish together and learn more lessons everyday. You are all welcome ... Lots of love...kisses !!!

#strength #forgiveness #letsflourishtogether

Back to basics : Cheers to growth !!!

Yippy it’s our birthday today, as well as marking 3 months since starting a whole new journey together, it’s a special day to be alive and appreciating the journey. Exactly 3 months ago, the 2^nd of January I officially started this blog to share a whole lot of things that go on in my crazy mind, some are real life experiences, and some are intended goals and some, well are from my imaginations, I mean I am a big dreamer, crazy one at that if you didn’t know, so please get deep into it knowing what exactly you are getting into #Laughs.

 Starting this blog has been one of the best decisions of my life, and I am so proud to have done it and stayed consistent. Its therapy for my soul and a hope for other people which makes me even more excited to be living. I have received a number of messages cheering me on, as well as appreciating my work, I am sure I am going places and am ready to venture into more writing and more life coaching and life changing talks and such. Thank you all for the support you’ve shown so far, and I am grateful we are learning a thing or two every day and growing together.

In today’s post I am excited to write about growth, consistency and following up on goals and plans we have put on our vision boards. I remember as the year started, one of the first posts here was one that visited the importance of drawing a vision board for one’s self, noting down goals and planning on how to execute them, as well as drawing down positive affirmations, drawing close the law of attraction. This week marks the beginning into the second quarter of the year, which means revisiting the board to see progress, or for some lack there-of and revisiting areas that caused it.

 

The vision board shenanigans started with these tools of trade,. i recommend you to try it if you haven't already it's only three months into the year, you can start now, it's never too late.

The past months of 2019, have been whole three big months, potentially life changing to some, totally life changing to others, and to me a point of self-discovery and finding more self-love and growth in my area of creativity. I discovered I love art with a passion, writing even more and reading a whole lot more, I found out I have more potential than I even believed I did, I found favour in people who discovered talents I didn’t know existed in me and I found out that I have a long way to go, a happy one and which spells more growth and exposure for me.

Remember the vision board I did and posted on it, I wrote more than twenty things I wanted to manifest in 2019, and guess what ,about five have already manifested and even better than I thought would although half of those are a bit different than I imagined, they are still in the same line with a twist, its confirmed, there is power in the words we speak , and this applies to whether you are Christian or not, it is true. The universe listens and listens very carefully, now I’m even aware and careful how I choose words that describe me. You are what you say you are and you will be what you believe you will be, mark my words!!

 

Take time and go back to the basics, review your goals and revisit areas that you feel are not growing, go back to the drawing board. Reward yourself for your hard earned success and progress. Appreciate your growth no matter the rate at which it happens. I know we all want to grow fast, but it happens differently in life, sometimes it has nothing to do with who is putting in the hard work , it’s just about perfect timing, life has a way of squaring everything right in time. Note: Besides gone are days of working too hard, now these are days to be working smart, figure it out, what works for you and what doesn’t.

Follow Up: Ask yourself

·         How far have I gone with my goals of 2019?

·         Where am I growing? What methods am I using to achieve this?

·         Where am I lacking and how can I improve? How are others doing it? How can I learn from people more accomplished and better than me?

·         What is my ultimate goal and how does it help me grow, socially, financially and psychologically?

·         How are my relationships going and how can I improve them for my well-being?

·         In which areas do I need to improve, communication, handling finances or taking care of my health?

·         Reflect in all areas you included in your vision board or your goals, and never forget to appreciate yourself, forget not yourself, you usually do that I know.

·         Lastly always never compare yourself with someone who has been doing the same thing you doing for years, it takes time, you grow gradually, the point is to learn from them rather than compare ,it will steal your joy, and you don’t want that.

like always  let go and smile!!!

After all being said this is to growth and crushing goals #cheers …. Remember to love yourself best and keep your shine, you the best version of you, you got. Lots of love, mwaaah!

#growth #selfdevelopment #crashinggoals