What is your Love Language?

Did you know that we love differently?  I mean we show, give and receive love very differently as humans.  No I don’t mean language as in English, German, Spanish or Italian, this could be romantic languages to you but right now I’m talking about the “actual” love languages. If you want to be the most romantic guy in the room, give me,” Je t’aime” (French for I love you), but that’s not enough. Let me throw you the gist here. French is not a love language, consider “Words of Affirmation” , and now we are talking.

pic cred: shutterstock.com

I hope I find you well, are you alive? Cause your girl here is alive, and kicking and beautiful, list is endless. Been through this and that but I am in my beast mode, hitting life head on, because yes it’s not beautiful, roses and rainbow but it’s Life and that is what gives meaning to it, it’s beautiful in the most unconventional way, it’s fun.  Now today’s business… Have you ever heard of this thing called “Love Languages’? Do you know your love language? Is there that one special being that speaks your fluent language, man I would like to know #winks#.

You ever been in a situation where you have done everything in your power to show your partner, how much you love them, pretty much everything but they still feel unloved and you feel unappreciated and trust me I know how frustrating this is. It is probably because you are speaking your very own love language to them instead of you speaking their own. In many cases we don’t share the same language with our partner, which might help explain why some relationships are pretty much the  cat and dog relationship kind. Imagine yourself speaking Fluent Mandarin to a Fluent Shona speaker who knows no Mandarin at all. That is conflictual and doesn’t end well. It is therefore important to learn Shona and Mandarin for each of these so that they have a meaningful conversation.

 So we all have different love languages and for you to know yours you have to look back to your childhood, how you received love because that to some extent translates to the way you feel loved as well as give it. You also have to try and remember that very moment someone made you feel so loved, what triggered the love button. You could also go extra and take a love language test online, your choice.  Also remember this fits in every relationship that involves love, not just the romantic type. I am working with the romantic type here because it best explains what I am trying to hit at, especially because these two people end up parting ways or rather divorcing, a thing you can’t do to family unfortunately enough for you, lol.

So a love language is basically that very important action that makes you feel loved, in a younger tongue we say “that thing that tickles your fancy”. The propounder of this theory of Love is a relationship Counsellor called Garry Chapman and he presented that there are basically five languages of love; Words of affirmation, Acts of Service, Physical touch, Quality time and Receiving gifts. 

1.    Words of Affirmation

There are people who feel loved by being complemented on everything that concern them, they feel loved the most when you shower them with complements, and these should be from a place of love, meaningful and not just mere vanity. Take note that these people take a lot of offense from words that are hurting, they are broken by negativity and therefore if you want to make them loved mean what you say, tell them you love them, they are beautiful, they are strong and all the good stuff which they are ,please don’t lie, they can tell, why lie anyway?. Speak fluent “Words of Affirmation”. Don’t just say things just for the sake of it.  Verbal Communication is vital here.

2.    Acts of Service

For these people you actually doing something to help them around is way better than words. This tribe believes in action not words. You could be expressing your love to them through praising them or telling them that you love them, but it won’t work, they want you to give them a hand.  So these thrive on your willingness to help with errands, chores, help them with whatever kind of work they need help with and they will shower you with appreciation. Your maximum effort is greatly appreciated, don’t just do just for the sake of doing it, don’t do that, cause if you do you are speaking Mandarin to a Shona speaker, get that right.

3.    Physical Touch

Announcement Please: Let’s get one thing straight right (this is the time I would say “hanty”) yes right. This love Language is not about bedroom kind of touchy feely, for those who feel loved this way, it’s a genuine holding of hands, kiss on their forehead, cuddling , hanging your arm on their shoulder, carrying them into the air, holding them, touching them just releases oxytocin, which is a love hormone. Not everybody that touches you or wants to be shown love this way is communicating something dirty, please, understand that. A person who speaks this language is surprisingly not touchy feely, rather appreciates hugs  don’t be surprised.

pic cred: taken at the National Art Gallery of Zimbabwe artist's showcase (name not known)

4.    Quality Time

This is one of the most controversial ones, and I think this is one of my languages. What is Quality time, before we even talk of the language itself? This entails that special time set aside for your special one, this to me translates to switching off your phone, which is a bit extreme but necessary in some cases, please stop with the constant checking of your phone, this frustrates me a whole lot, I translate it as “I am boring you” if you are always glued on your phone and all I want is just thirty minutes of your full on time.  I appreciate your hundred per cent; presence if you can’t switch the phone off at least don’t touch it every now and then.

Quality time transcends to even being together watching a movie, reading a book by my side, even in silence, I don’t mind, Just be right there in your whole full human. Many relationships have failed because of this, especially the part where we just chase our lives secure the bag every darn time and not strike a balance between quality time and work, it becomes problematic. You could give your partner every beautiful gift in the world and all they want is your time, not in its quantity form but quality, ( 30 minute of a real conversation and connection is way better than a week of a holiday with a partner that’s on their computer working), I hope you get me clearly. The tribe who understands this language thrive on your ability to set aside time only meant for connection between the both of you. Case Closed.

5.    Receiving Gifts

Just like my fellow people whose love language is “Touch”, these ones are misunderstood equally the same way. Just because they feel loved through being gifts, it doesn’t mean that they are materialistic in our tongue tinobva tati anoda zvinhu (Meaning they are materialistic lover of things, well in other news who doesn’t? I mean I love things myself but i am not talking about me lol, but the real ones that fit in this Tribe) please don’t, just don’t do that. The genuine ones in this category do not value the amount of money you used to buy the gift, for them it’s the thought that count. They feel remembered, existing and important in turn triggering their love button. You could get them flower, write them a letter and frame it, they will greatly appreciate this.

So these are our love languages that are usually misplaced and misunderstood. I imagine the world like that very moment when God chose to invent different languages to stop His people from building a tower to heaven, anyone remember this story? Just imagine the disaster that takes place when you speak a wrong language to someone. So it is important to learn your partner’s language and teach them yours, show them the way. I am glad if you and your partner speak the same language, please value that.

The frustration that exists when you receive the wrong kind of expression of love is real and can cause detrimental effects to a relationship that was meant to be so beautiful. Pay attention and take notes. Also remember that we have the primary language and the secondary one, so learn which one is your major language and discuss with your partner about it for a flourishing relationship.  Unless if your partner is a fictional character that speaks fifty languages and changes forms like the Character Ben 10, then you are in trouble.

I am personally bilingual and if you want to know, talk to me nicely lol, I will share. Be free to share your relationship horror stories as well as beautiful stories as far as how expressing love for each other turned bitter or sweet because of these love languages. Stay loving and open for love, it’s good for your mental Health to always feel loved as well as give the right amount of it.

 XOXOXO

#flourishing #reflections #lifelessons

           

Truth be told : Facts about life

Hello my beautiful people, just checking up on you, and making sure you do not run "Life Lessons Dehydration", your girl always got you. I posted this a day sooner, who said we couldn't, let's just say we taking nature's flow and do it just when that one person needs to hear it ( coming from a deep place of love).  Everyday is a learning day, life is a learning process and for that we never run out of lessons. As i was just going through the day minding my own business lazying around at work today, a number of people came to visit our office and they had a lot to talk about. 

I sat there and just listened as the older people conversed and this is what I learnt and thought it was worth to share and like always be reminded of these every day, and when it starts to fade, please come back, read it and learn a little bit more. You maybe lost in a way, but please be lost in the right direction, let's all be the lost in the right direction, that one which accidentally leads to self- awareness,self-love and ultimately self-development.

Some of these things we tend to forget about or rather some don't even pay attention to them but they remain true regardless of us disregarding them anyway. I will mention just a few of them and have you look at yourself,pay attention to your life and the people around you, and revise your upkeep and how you relate with the world surrounding you. It's that simple right? Hell no, you need to constantly wok on yourself and be better with age as you grow and take on the journey of life. The journey is a quite interesting one, I'm sure you know this. Right, let's get on with it !

1. Your dream is allowed to change : A passion is based on feelings so does dreams, and feelings change, that's just how it is, you are not a robot , and definitely not programmed to just follow programming.You change with age, with the environment, with time. So it's allowed, its never too late to start to pursue other things, totally new altogether. Don't judge yourself and if they do, then so what, the more the reason for you to pursue that new dream for your self-actualization.

2. Self-Confidence isn't always constant: Yes, time always has a way of changing things for the better or the worst and that shouldn't make you any lesser of a person should it. Just because you were so confident about yourself just yesterday and you feel a bit different, it's not a bad thing, it's no like you are failing, you are not. Pay attention to yourself and see what's going on around you, what has changed, what are the people around you doing and what is making you lose your self-confidence, it could be the people around you, and unfortunately it could be yourself, sometimes we are our own vampires, luckily this can be fixed.Pay attention.

3. It's easier said than done: Yes, saying you will do this,or you will do that is one thing, actually doing it is another. Are you a talker, or a doer, what are you? For you to be a writer we have to read the work you have written right, rather than your words from your lips we cant read with our eyes. It's that black and white. No two ways about it. Unless you have some magical wand that makes things done just as you say it out and boom.  Doing them gains you a respectable space in the achievements department, imagine how good it feel to say something to life and actually finish what you started. It's an amazing feeling, and the more you think about small stuff,do them and make them a reality, the easier it becomes for tasks that seem even bigger.

pic cred: imgflip.com

4. You are an immortal being, to be frank with you, "you are going to die": Yes need I say more? I know right, some scary shnoodles right in front of us. The bottom line is, you are not going to live forever, so what do you do ? LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULLEST,how? Figure it out you are a smart being. Use your time wisely, create meaningful relationships,spend time with the people that give meaning to your life, do what you love, live for a reason, find happiness, find things you love doing and do very much of those, my Nikey friends then shout, "Just do it!"

5.Time Lost is never recovered: You might be living tomorrow but you will never see today again. That's just it. Time is a valuable resource , please use it wisely, just like your life. Every minute lost, is just that, lost, you can only do better the next hour coming. Time management is a skill we all need to master, if we are going to make a positive impact and achieve our goals in a SMART way.  

6. Not all family is blood : There are very many relationships, friendships that turned into family, value those because we don't choose family, but for a friend to choose to be your family, that's just big, that is real love. Keep them closer for they won't only be in your life on your burial day based on blood relations, just a mere obligation, really?, but friends turn family, are the ones that know you inside and out, and those are a few. Keep these gems.

7. Material wealth will not make you a better person or a happier one at that: Do I honestly have to elaborate any further on this one? Please spare my fingers, i want to save them for typing something not self-explanatory . You can by everything and anything in the world but if you do not recognize the importance of every created human being, then you are very poor, periodt ! You might buy followers, people who work for you, live in private jets, but you are still empty. Your money might buy you a status but if you do not have love inside of you,you might donate all the money you can but you will never buy real happiness and peace. Money is much but it is not entirely Everything.

8. The most important things in life are: family , friends, purpose, freedom, time,  peace, love and health. Finally this is sort of a comeback  from number seven, you might have money that buys you everything else but if you do not have these, then what's the worth of your coins? Always remember that real love is not bought, the most beautiful things in life are free and can be felt through the heart. Pay attention.

Always remember to stay true to yourself, to love and value your person and embrace your uniqueness. The ball is in your court to throw it, bounce it, pass it on , stay in your arms or whatever makes you sleep peacefully at night. Take charger of the one life that you were gifted with and make a difference in your life and that of others.Stay Beautiful. 

Let's keep growing together. Lots of love, spread it out , xoxoxo!

#lifelessons #lifereflections #growth

Who am I?

Time Flies : The other side of 2019

Half the year is officially gone with an extra month and we are anticipating taking on the few months left of it. I mean the year just went past through just like that, I hope you haven’t let it butcher you with it. Every year comes with its own wholly awesome drama and I have had a fair share of mine. Major moves took charge of my life some very positive and very berry but others bad and very peppery, and of course we always have the middle ground, regardless I am still pushing for the best.

I hope you haven’t given up yourself, life really has so many lessons in which it gives us if we pay attention to detail our lives are changed for the best on the way. Because of all these moves, changes, dramas, and a whole lot of life itself we tend to lose ourselves and forget our whys. Do not worry, just be awakened. Your mental health comes first, for you to take on the world and ride those goals like a boss, you need to be in the right state of mind, remind yourself of the following (I wholesomely need to be constantly reminded of these too :

Who Am I?

Who are you really? Do you understand yourself, your identity? Where you come from and where you are going? What’s going on with your life? What drives you? What takes you down? What gives you power? What are your strengths and weaknesses? All these play a major role in defining who you are. Losing your identity with the rest of the world, makes you forget or lose touch with your uniqueness in turn making you go with the winds and makes you lose focus. Are you willing to lose yourself and lose meaning of your life? With the constant life pressures, the pain , the loses the grief I have gone through in life and especially the year 2019, I somehow found myself asking myself some questions that I didn’t have answers to but I never stopped, well I never stop reminding myself of who I am, plus no-matter the hurdles every year also brings beauty in our lives, so I mean why should you not be reminded of the boss you are.

 I am one strong woman that is not defined by pain, but by the power of healing and forgiveness I highly possess. I am a beautiful strong woman with the power to move in positive light even when everything else is dragging me down. I am a woman who chooses love and light, and I am a woman who has chosen to be a light in other people’s lives even as I seek to find more of it myself, I am a woman defined by a positive mind-set, and what I say I am, I am, what I say I will do, I do and what I set my mind on , I pursue. I am a winner! Do you know who you are? Who are you?

What do I want out of Life?

At the end of the day what really do you want out of life? What are your goals, your ambitions, your plan and how far are you willing to stretch to get these achieved? How far can you stretch without compromising your elasticity and your quality, your values, your person? How far would you go to see you get the ultimate goal achieved in your life, right by you? (Today we are playing that game, yes that one that doesn’t have a name your five year old curious niece or nephew does to you, let’s call it the “ready to hit on life head on” game). Yes, that one of a million questions. If you are easily annoyed by questions, then how best can I help you my friend bear with me we are dissecting the meaning of life here, you need to hear this.

My ultimate goal in life is to be happy; I want happiness out of all this. I could grow wealthy and significant in the society, but with no happiness it’s all meaningless, isn’t it? That’s what I am trying to reach at right now. I want to be happy and give happiness, brighten up my world and the next person’s world, I do not want to be a failure, like everybody else I don’t think there is one soul that aspires to be a failure, but how much am I willing to sacrifice? That’s a painful thought right there. Sometimes we have to lose the best part of ourselves to reach for growth and sacrifice the now for a happy tomorrow, I mean it hurts, and it hurts so bad, trust me I know, but at the end it is all worth it, for your ultimate goal to be reached. In my case I strive to bring light in my life in form of happiness as much as I want to for the people that I love and those that do not even know me. What do you want out of life? What are you doing to get it?

What are the lessons learnt from my mistakes?

Hey there! How are you? How far have you gone in life without making any mistakes? I thought so too, you are not perfect, you are human, you were designed to learn from your mistakes and from the past in general and do not deny yourself the privilege to learn that way. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you are only yourself and like I always say, perfection is a myth, thus embrace yourself flaws and all, mistakes included, cause that is exactly how we learn. The dumb thing to do is pursue perfection and not excellence, whilst at it running away from mistakes or being way too careful, way too serious for nothing at the same time not being able to live a hundred per cent truthful life to self in the name of avoiding mistakes and pursuing perfection, you might come out of it alive, but less experienced in terms of life. Too many rules make you miss out all the fun in life.

I am speaking from experience; too many rules deprived me of my happiness and mere enjoyment of life. I always was too rigid, too serious and too careful in life and missed out a whole lot of my teenage life, I mean I am grateful for the person it made me turn out later on , but man, I was too tough on myself, all in the name of being careful and not making mistakes. Long and short of it, don’t be like me, just live your life, I have learnt that now, don’t be an over-thinker, live your best life ( just make sure you are not taking advantage of the next person to please your own darn self, that’s not nice #ok listen to little miss nice me popping#). Make mistakes learn from them, and learn not to repeat them, because repeating them makes you a stupid person, get that right, and note the difference.

Learn from the bad decisions you have made before, learn what worked and what didn’t, how and where to improve, how to do better next time and see yourself flourish and grow beautifully. Life really doesn’t have a formula really, take it as it comes, and live with no regrets. If you follow too many rules, you are just limiting yourself and you will not have any mistakes to learn from, how sad. I am being just real and open with you right now, just live your life, take risks, explore, make as many mistakes as possible until you get it right, we learn to walk from falling as many times as possible. If a child paid attention to the many mistakes they made in their development stages of growth and say “maybe this is not for me”, this world could be full of old man and women who cannot walk or talk, what a sad world. Learn from the past mistakes and grow, period!!!

With this, I rest my case for today, don’t let the year pass you by just like that. Reclaim your place, take charge and repossess your life, it’s for you to live and you only got one shot at it. It’s for you to live. The few months left are for you to make major positive impact in the world, own it!!! Let’s grow together !!!

#conquer2019 #reflections #growth #lifelessons

DIARY OF A 25 YEAR OLD AFRICAN GIRL…

DIARY OF A 25 YEAR OLD AFRICAN GIRL… (It will not stay the same)

“Dear Diary…

Just as I woke up today I lost all power to get out of bed, because I know ,I just know that the day isn’t going to be any different, same old as it was the last 2 years. I cannot believe how excited I was on my graduation day in one beautiful month of November. I had so much energy, so many hopes and desires and the very best of them a hope for a job just as I had always thought, I was going to be a Lawyer with full potential walking so graciously in my black well fitted suits and calling “yes your honour”, “objection my Lord” and all the fascinating expressions lawyers make, but was I right, NO!

I feel LONELY by the day, I feel even lost and confused, I do not understand what is going on in my life, and nobody told me it was going to be like this. They didn’t teach us about this predicament when we were still in school, they didn’t tell us it was going to be this hard.

I feel FEAR every day of my life, I don’t know the direction my life is taking. I have lost friends because of my insecurities that I project to them, and the way I recklessly speak to them without paying attention. I have lost my intentionality and I just do things unplanned and just however way. I am afraid of being a failure its eating me up every day. Talk about all the hopes my mother had, oh I am a disappointment.

I feel ANGER at the social system and everybody in it, why is it like this? Where am I going? I look outside my world and its chaotic, most of my university colleagues are working as shop attends, hustling, being vendors. My fellow friends who have attained high class and very satisfactory results just as I did are just roaming the streets without any plan. Is this what we signed up for?

I feel LEFT OUT AND BEHIND, how could this be possible, I am 25 and with literally nothing, no job, no car, no decent phone, literally nothing, not even confidence, I don’t know how to fix it. I need help, please something, I need a job, I have no idea where I am going. I am so scared. I am sad and want to cry every time, please God help! When is change going to come?

Yours always

Me…”

Can anyone relate to this? I know there are many of us who have gone through this, some are going through it right now, some will soon go through it ( sadly enough, though I wouldn’t want us to dwell in our loses and negativity I wish it could be a bit different and nobody had to go through this at all), it’s a continuous struggle and it is real. And it is what is eating up many of our young people of this generation. 

Some are totally failing to deal with it and fall into depression, some are completely giving up hope and just going by the wind. But is it really the end? Do you think it really is the end? You are not alone.

Take it from this point of view: Your 20s aren’t the final years of your life, though they build a foundation of the rest of your life, it’s not the end, they are actually a means to an end. So listen, whatever you are going through is not the end. 

This is the time to figure out what you really want out of life. To figure out your talents, to find yourself, the greatest five years to your 30s that will have endless possibilities in finding the self. This is not the time to feel like a failure. All the emotions mentioned above, I have passed through and the frustration is real, it is rather too visible, but let me tell you from what I have gone through myself. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.  Almost everybody has gone through this phase, unless if you are privileged enough to be born in a well-off family where everything has always been set up for you (lucky you, never take it for granted), we all pass through this phase, and it is important to look out for self, to hold self from falling into depression.

It takes time but everything falls into place if you are careful and not lose yourself, you need not lose your precious self. I have gone through this phase so I know exactly what I am talking about. I figured instead of throwing the pity party, I should really do something about this. I rekindled the fire with my writing and other areas I am passionate about and found a love I had never known existed, I even found opportunities I could have not been aware of had I stayed in my shell throwing a pity party for myself. I found an escape and even invested my time in it, and boy was I right.

All I am saying is this is not the end. Your mental health should always come first and never be neglected; you need your insanity to finally enjoy yourself when you reach that place that you always wanted to. Commit time to finding things you love doing and do these more often. Whilst trying to earn a living, try volunteering first, selling something even though everybody out here is selling something, you will be shocked that in an economy that is so bad some people just like you are thriving. Be innovative, sell your talents, and acquire new skills.

Your degree is not final, venture into other disciplines, try something new, just do something and not remain the same. Stop complaining and start doing. Think deep about this and take action, if you want to remain the same or if you want to move, it is all in your hands. I am not exactly where I want to be but I have not stopped pursuing what I want, exploring and looking into other fields. You are allowed to study again in a new area or advance your education in the area of your interest, just don’t stop moving until you find something. Meet new people, go places, that’s how you get connected, don’t just stay in your shade, that’s how you drown in your sorrows and fall into depression. Keep moving, you will definitely get there, and when you get into your mid-thirties you will smile back and appreciate yourself for never giving up.

This is for everyone like me, who have experienced unemployment, underemployment, (“little-or-no-employment”, “employmentlessness” and many other self-invented words to describe the state of not working) whatever that relates to having no job, no plan or experiencing the evils of distorted social strata. Besides blaming the other institutions, how much effort have you put in yourself, think about it, and start doing something, JUST START AND START NOW!!!

Always remember to love yourself enough to respect your future and guard your legacy. You are unique, everybody else is taken! Let us grow together!

#lifelessons #reflections #selfdevelopment

                                                 

Why should your opinion matter more than mine?

MY OPINIONS MATTER SO DO YOURS…

My beautiful people, hope I find you well, I am thankful to be alive, and the more I am living every day the more I receive life gifts that are beautiful and meaningful. I want to live more and explore these gifts. Really it’s amazing how the universe acts, I mean it could be some random acts of kindness from the universe to me I don’t know but I sure enjoy how the words I speak upon my life have so much impact right back in my life. Let me explain myself in a second, I am just excited.

So just recently I wrote an expression called “teach me love”, check my last post https://chrissinit.blogspot.com/2019/06/teach-me-love-letter-to-universe.html .I don’t know if it is me or what, but since January I have been saying a lot of positive words upon my life and I have seen my life take a tour for a significant positive change. Of course April was kind of a bad month for me (I now understand that no matter how happy we design our lives to be through affirmations, sometimes life being life just happens and it’s how we rise up that defines the amount of strength we have in us, I fought I conquered), overall I have had such a fruitful and fulfilling year so far based upon my affirmations (you can have a little piece of my April challenges here https://chrissinit.blogspot.com/2019/04/rumor-has-it-april-has-been-ugly-april.html  . 


I digressed(sorry) Back to my last post “teach me love”, I have have this desire in me to do more good and appreciate the people around me more, to do acts of kindness and love even more the people that make it hard to love (you know what I mean #winks). You get what you want, just mean it and ask for it with good intentions and a meaningful heart. I wasn’t really ready, but I am getting what I asked for, little by little we are getting there.

pic cred @rawpixel.com

All being said, in this regard just during the weekend I had a number of experiences that even furthers my longing for us as humans to have love for each other. Genuine love that calls for acceptance and embracing each other, with a love that transcends physical and perceived boundaries. Because as it is right now, we are lacking, man we are so judgmental, so close-minded and we are so imposing and in some cases so limiting and as it is the Christian folk is the most guilty of this as I speak for myself as a Christian, the church hurts my feelings, really we hurt each other a whole lot and this makes my heart bleed.

We make each other feel even undeserving and so unworthy, crucifying some people for the exact same sins or worse we do behind closed doors, (Child who hurt you so bad, you might ask?, nobody in particular but everybody who has judged the next person simply because they didn’t partake the life that they want them to live based on the values they see as right. I am guilty of this but I am trying, please pray for me and join me in trying to live our best lives without imposing our opinions on other people, Lets grow together and grow right while at it). Most of these are completely personal choices therefore let’s respect each other and keep hatred and negativity at bay.

So what’s my story? Your opinions matter, so do mine. In very situation really, be quick to listen and be slow to judge, be quick to keep an open mind and be slow to jump to conclusion or limit someone because you think you are better than them, or because you think you are morally cleaner or you know better, everyone has a lesson for us and we are not good at everything. Just a tip: Geniuses or intelligent people, well in this case “emotionally intelligent people”, are quick to say and know that they do not know everything, there is a lesson in every situation, they are always eager to learn, and I really want to be amongst these ones and I want you to be too( that’s if you want it too, laughs).

pic cred @freerangestock.com

This piece might be all over the place but let me rant and please be patient, all I want to put across is that: let’s stop imposing our lifestyles on others, just because you don’t eat meat, do not bash those who do, preach your preferences in peace and let other people learn the best way from you peacefully, the same applies on religion, politics, family matters, work ethics, you name it. If you preach in showing your opinions’ benefits peacefully and gracefully, you never know whose life you can impact positively. It’s not about force really, it’s about compassion and empathy. This even extends to how we correct other people around us, I’m sure nobody wants to be corrected in a provoking way, try it on me (to be honest if you correct me rudely and loudly, you will get what’s coming your way I will be equally rude and loud about it, knowing fully well I’m wrong, I’m just being as honest as ever, but if you do it gracefully and quietly, I sure will be remorseful and listen, even apologize and try to change. Real queens fix other queens’ crowns quietly, (I have forgotten the exact expression but I guess you get my point).

If you don’t like something, quietly and respectively stop watching, stop listening, move away, simply do it in the most “respectful way” possible and always know that everybody is entitled to their own opinion and it’s OK because we are different, diversity is the word and that’s why the rainbow is beautiful, it has many different colors existing in harmony. As long as the opinions are not life threatening or vulgar, then let other people thrive with you. Let’s try to be tolerant (of course I mentioned not to BS, although this is subjective, but I know there is a standard of good and bad generally existing in life, don’t take bull whilst minding your own business),but let’s accept others, which is the main message in this whole “rantage” of words #smiles. Yes I know I’m dramatic like that.

I take this world generally at a macro scale, and the church at a micro scale, as a literal social hospital, nobody is perfect, we are all looking for growth with the ultimate goal of reaching to our full health’s potential, thus are learning every day. Don’t let the people in the church/world hurt you to the extent of hating them; we are all sick in a way and in a hospital to our full healing. Let’s all exist together and as each of us heal, at different times of course, let’s tolerate each other’s growth and celebrate our growth. It’s not about perfection it’s about learning to embrace different opinions and move on with our lives.

 

"The rainbow is beautiful because it has many different colors, it knows that good things in life are formed through accepting diversity, learn from it " C.Matenga
pic cred @wallpapercave

Always remember we should all be thriving in our differences, because the world need this diversity to see its fullest potential after all, we are all different parts of a one whole body. The stomach cannot function to its full potential without the mouth, so does the very important part that passes waste out, need I say more #winks of course you get my point!!! Let’s practice ACCEPTANCE!!!

I live for a day that somebody will tell me this, “Christine, I am not a Christian/ black/a woman/insert whatever you identify yourself with, but I still relate to your work and have really learnt a lot from you, I don’t exactly agree with all your opinions but I must acknowledge I have learnt a lot and my life has been positively influenced by you…” This is the level of acceptance I look for and I also want to practice. I am not exactly the most open-minded person in the room but I am willing to try it out, who is with me? Let’s grow together!

#everybodysopinionmatter #diversity #embracingindividuality

Teach me Love : Letter to the universe

Hello my beautiful people, I’m always excited when I come here to share with you some of my deepest life lessons, ambitions, hopes and desires, because I know I am not alone. It makes me so happy to share my state of mind through writing, and I feel like I can connect better with the rest of the world through sharing these thoughts. This is one of my recent spoken word pieces and I thought it would fit perfectly with the message I want to pass on today. Enjoy…

TEACH ME LOVE: LETTER TO THE UNIVERSE

Teach me love …

Yes dear universe, I ask of a favor of a lifetime, if I ever in my lifetime have to ask for one gift, this is what I ask for…In a world that is full of selfishness, discontentment, pure lack of consideration and misconceptions of love itself, I ask for one thing…

A love so profound, a love unimaginable, undefined, unconquered…

Teach me to love everybody else as I expect to be loved, to treat them with enough respect just as I yearn for, a deep understanding I search for and a common ground I cry for…

Teach me to love beyond measure, to give before being asked, to listen and give a hand when a soul in need is in sight, teach me to give an ear and keep an open mind, not to judge but take time and spare my time enough to inspire and breathe life...

Dear universe, teach me to treat everybody with a genuine appreciation of their undisputed uniqueness, individuality and peculiarity, teach me to appreciate their deep human nature and pour me a deep affection towards the rest and enhance my humanity…

Teach me to be humble enough to let them express their deepest concerns without me striking them with discontentment and discord, I do not want to sit here look pretty and be part of a continuously breaking world anymore, I am sick and tired of the disconcerted definition of love in its every perception…

I seek of a love that is deep in its depth, extended in its form and prolonged in its nature, a love that sees beyond color, race, possessions, a love that embraces diversity, in its eternity…

When you are done cooking and preparing this unfathomable, undisputed, unimaginable kind of love, fill my cup and let it overflow as i dip my lips into it, let my body quiver in pleasure of being in contact with a feeling so magical, ready to anoint the deeper depths of my human to spread this kind of love…

Teach me to splurge this kind of love around and share it with the world, a love  that seems and feels unreal, a love that heals the hostile, that mends the broken, that listens to the voiceless, that  is considerate to the often ignored, and connects  with an unending chord, a chord of understanding and peaceful co-existence…

I know this is almost impossible, but almost isn’t really not the ultimate most, is it? I know it’s not, therefore I am here asking for the most, because even if it takes a hundred years and an absolute most of time, I am here standing the test of time, waiting in time for that very time that this kind of love will be thoroughly unraveled to all of us as humanity and, and then that time we will all put others first and embrace the fruits of co-existence…

Teach me a love almost unnatural, a love so profound, a love unconquered, a love I almost can expect from only a higher power, that’s the kind of love I yearn to be gifted with, to give out to the world as much as I also yearn to be flowered with that rarity!!!

💖

TEACH ME LOVE @Christine Matenga Spokenword

💗💙💚💕

We live in a world that has many misconceptions and this is not an exception to the biggest part of our life ”LOVE”. In this piece I ask of the universe to give me a deep love towards other people as much as I expect to be loved by the rest of the world in a similar manner. I mean of course it sounds like an impossibility to love the next person just as much as you love yourself, but look at it this way: Do you like it when other people generally hate you, because of your color, race, ethnicity, where you come from, what you have/ haven’t achieved, anything really?, how some people with power generally are inconsiderate, have distorted priorities, why the world is constantly developing into a world that has so much chaos, inconsiderate leaders, men that take advantage of women, women that use men for money, corrupt people everywhere, lies, deceitfulness, and a whole lot of bad.

Is this how we want to keep living like? Do we ever think of the future? Do we ever think of our children who are going to have to live with our lack of general love? What is our future like if we lack this common critical part of life? Just think about it? Ask for that one thing from the universe that you feel is very important to the growth of our existence as humans. What’s the greatest gift you seek to have from the universe so that your children will inherit from you, something that cannot come in monetary value? For me it is LOVE, and I don’t mean the romantic kind, I mean the general kind, love for humanity, unconditional love towards the next person, the love I expect to be given.

For me it is LOVE, and I don’t mean the romantic kind, I mean the general kind, love for humanity, unconditional love towards the next person, the love I expect to be given.

 Always remember: YOU CANNOT EXPECT FROM THE UNIVERSE WHAT YOU CAN’T GIVE YOURSELF, this rule generally applies to every other person, give out what you constantly yearning for and teach the world how best you ought to be loved, and make the world a better place!!! Like always I am just as a reminder to the life lessons we keep forgetting. Lots of love always. Till next time …XOXO

#spokenwordpoetry #reflections #lifelessons #teachmelove

Letter from the Not-so-innocent-me

Dear Current Self...

Dear Current-Self …

Please give me a chance to express myself to you as much as you recklessly throw the most hurtful of words without hesitation or doubt. Please don’t shut me up before I even say all I have been burying deep down in my broken heart. I know, I know you hate me with a passion and sometimes doubt yourself and you always are in flight mode whenever I try to reach out, but listen just listen and let me let it all out, no doubt I will be nice, I come in peace and all I want I to live with you in peace and leave here in one piece, I promise I will be nice.

The day I came into your life, we were so much in love because you were ready to experiment, to live a little and explore a whole lot, I mean I wasn’t the best of your options because you weren’t so sure, but I sure was fun, and I sure held your hand and I never was prepared to take a run. I was here for the long run, but fate happened, and just like the truth it is, everything comes and happens for a reason, to build and do more building. I am not bragging but let me give you one hint, you are here because of me, I was the deep gorge you needed to pass through to your light, I was the fun but bad that you required for you to know and differentiate between right and wrong.

I know I am that part you decided to let go and let me tell you this, I am not mad at you so please stop treating me like an enemy here, I am not. I understand why you left me. It’s a lonely place down here, here in the pits, but it gives me joy that you have navigated through life the way you have, you have grown, you now appreciate treating other people well because we had one hell of a ride when we were taking them for rides. I must say the day you started feeling sick of all the bad things we used to do together I knew it was for me to give you a chance to meet yourself, to appreciate the things in your life and understand that people are not objects that can be used or replaced, that’s why we have things, gadgets and everything else non-human use those.

I pushed you to the limits and showed you that there is nothing beyond being dishonest, non-loyal, cheating, not committing, lying, stealing and a whole lot of the things we did in the dark, that’s all it is mortal fun. It was fun as well as educative, please give me the accolades I deserve: I led you through the darkness, so you can meet light, I let you loose so you can learn to hang so tight, I whispered in your ears be sly, be savage so you can have so much baggage, and when time comes you will understand not to judge people based on that which they bring when they come into your life and speak their love language.

With no doubt I gave you character, I built it from the ground, I am neither beating about the bush ,nor going around, I am setting my foot on the ground, and rightfully express my mind, so profound. Stop giving me attitude and understand what I am telling you with great aptitude, I speak of what I know, and I speak from the known, we both know we weren’t saints, but for how long will you go, shutting me out and not embracing me for who I was in your life. I gave you the liberty to move on after I played my role, but you keep disrespecting me, by running away from all the truth and not giving me credit of my role. Sweetheart I am not going to judge you, but I am giving you power to accept that we had a good time, but you had to grow up.

 Now listen, stop beating yourself about changing the past, man I am always going to be part of you, I apologise I cannot be erased, I have siblings everywhere in everybody’s life, some have stunted growth , some take time to let go their hosts but one thing for sure we are here to teach life worth lessons. We are to jump start lives, we are for a purpose, and I promise you like I did; we always let go and take the back sit, sometimes we are very hard to leave behind, but the right time always comes. 

It’s always different for everybody, depending upon the lives they live and the circumstances in their lives, but we come and go, and trust me, believe it or not the experience we come and gift you with are amazing, you will understand this when you grow older. Tell me you didn’t learn a thing or two? I know you did ( not to threaten you but if you invite me in any case I’m glad to give you round two, but I know you have learnt enough now, so I will stay behind where I belong).

One favour I ask from you is to make peace with me, and keep the lessons I gave you. I wish for you to accept that what happened was for the lessons and experience, I served my term in your heart, and I made marks. I am unapologetic for pushing you so hard sometimes, but look at you today, aren’t you beautifully amazing? I look at you and I sigh and ooze with pride, I mean you are amusing. I don’t wish to come again, I will sit in the background and wait for you to move on from me, and the moment you will stop shutting me down, I will peacefully take my goods with me and trust me you will never ever have to fight me, cause I will not be loud anymore.

Stop beating yourself and know that I am always part of you, just accept it and move on doing that will give you the power to release the energy of forgiveness deep in your heart the moment you stop suppressing me, your very own forgiveness to you. I told you I am not part of your future, you have every power to make it what you want it to be. I am only here as your past to build the character you needed. I mean look at you aren’t you what the entire world appreciates. Keep going forward and never look back, I do not define you. I am here for peace and with this I say TRUCE.

Yours Ready to go when you want

Your-not-so-innocent

Hello my beautiful people, I hope this speaks to you in away you never really thought of seeing it, we came here to learn, grow and conquer, lets grow together!!!

#growth #selfreflections #selflove