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| Dear Current Self... |
Dear
Current-Self …
Please give me a chance to
express myself to you as much as you recklessly throw the most hurtful of words
without hesitation or doubt. Please don’t shut me up before I even say all I have
been burying deep down in my broken heart. I know, I know you hate me with a
passion and sometimes doubt yourself and you always are in flight mode whenever
I try to reach out, but listen just listen and let me let it all out, no doubt I
will be nice, I come in peace and all I want I to live with you in peace and
leave here in one piece, I promise I will be nice.
The day I came into your
life, we were so much in love because you were ready to experiment, to live a
little and explore a whole lot, I mean I wasn’t the best of your options
because you weren’t so sure, but I sure was fun, and I sure held your hand and I
never was prepared to take a run. I was here for the long run, but fate
happened, and just like the truth it is, everything comes and happens for a
reason, to build and do more building. I am not bragging but let me give you
one hint, you are here because of me, I was the deep gorge you needed to pass
through to your light, I was the fun but bad that you required for you to know
and differentiate between right and wrong.
I know I am that part you
decided to let go and let me tell you this, I am not mad at you so please stop
treating me like an enemy here, I am not. I understand why you left me. It’s a
lonely place down here, here in the pits, but it gives me joy that you have
navigated through life the way you have, you have grown, you now appreciate
treating other people well because we had one hell of a ride when we were
taking them for rides. I must say the day you started feeling sick of all the
bad things we used to do together I knew it was for me to give you a chance to
meet yourself, to appreciate the things in your life and understand that people
are not objects that can be used or replaced, that’s why we have things, gadgets
and everything else non-human use those.
I pushed you to the limits
and showed you that there is nothing beyond being dishonest, non-loyal, cheating,
not committing, lying, stealing and a whole lot of the things we did in the
dark, that’s all it is mortal fun. It was fun as well as educative, please give
me the accolades I deserve: I led you through the darkness, so you can meet
light, I let you loose so you can learn to hang so tight, I whispered in your
ears be sly, be savage so you can have so much baggage, and when time comes you
will understand not to judge people based on that which they bring when they
come into your life and speak their love language.
With no doubt I gave you
character, I built it from the ground, I am neither beating about the bush ,nor
going around, I am setting my foot on the ground, and rightfully express my
mind, so profound. Stop giving me attitude and understand what I am telling you
with great aptitude, I speak of what I know, and I speak from the known, we
both know we weren’t saints, but for how long will you go, shutting me out and
not embracing me for who I was in your life. I gave you the liberty to move on
after I played my role, but you keep disrespecting me, by running away from all
the truth and not giving me credit of my role. Sweetheart I am not going to
judge you, but I am giving you power to accept that we had a good time, but you
had to grow up.
Now listen, stop beating yourself about
changing the past, man I am always going to be part of you, I apologise I cannot
be erased, I have siblings everywhere in everybody’s life, some have stunted
growth , some take time to let go their hosts but one thing for sure we are here
to teach life worth lessons. We are to jump start lives, we are for a purpose,
and I promise you like I did; we always let go and take the back sit, sometimes
we are very hard to leave behind, but the right time always comes.
It’s always
different for everybody, depending upon the lives they live and the
circumstances in their lives, but we come and go, and trust me, believe it or
not the experience we come and gift you with are amazing, you will understand
this when you grow older. Tell me you didn’t learn a thing or two? I know you
did ( not to threaten you but if you invite me in any case I’m glad to give you
round two, but I know you have learnt enough now, so I will stay behind where I
belong).
One favour I ask from you is
to make peace with me, and keep the lessons I gave you. I wish for you to
accept that what happened was for the lessons and experience, I served my term
in your heart, and I made marks. I am unapologetic for pushing you so hard
sometimes, but look at you today, aren’t you beautifully amazing? I look at you
and I sigh and ooze with pride, I mean you are amusing. I don’t wish to come
again, I will sit in the background and wait for you to move on from me, and
the moment you will stop shutting me down, I will peacefully take my goods with
me and trust me you will never ever have to fight me, cause I will not be loud
anymore.
Stop beating yourself and
know that I am always part of you, just accept it and move on doing that will
give you the power to release the energy of forgiveness deep in your heart the
moment you stop suppressing me, your very own forgiveness to you. I told you I
am not part of your future, you have every power to make it what you want it to
be. I am only here as your past to build the character you needed. I mean look
at you aren’t you what the entire world appreciates. Keep going forward and
never look back, I do not define you. I am here for peace and with this I say TRUCE.
Yours Ready to go when you want
Your-not-so-innocent
Hello my beautiful people, I hope this speaks to you in away you never really thought of seeing it, we came here to learn, grow and conquer, lets grow together!!!
#growth #selfreflections #selflove
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