DIARY OF A 25 YEAR OLD AFRICAN GIRL…

DIARY OF A 25 YEAR OLD AFRICAN GIRL… (It will not stay the same)

“Dear Diary…

Just as I woke up today I lost all power to get out of bed, because I know ,I just know that the day isn’t going to be any different, same old as it was the last 2 years. I cannot believe how excited I was on my graduation day in one beautiful month of November. I had so much energy, so many hopes and desires and the very best of them a hope for a job just as I had always thought, I was going to be a Lawyer with full potential walking so graciously in my black well fitted suits and calling “yes your honour”, “objection my Lord” and all the fascinating expressions lawyers make, but was I right, NO!

I feel LONELY by the day, I feel even lost and confused, I do not understand what is going on in my life, and nobody told me it was going to be like this. They didn’t teach us about this predicament when we were still in school, they didn’t tell us it was going to be this hard.

I feel FEAR every day of my life, I don’t know the direction my life is taking. I have lost friends because of my insecurities that I project to them, and the way I recklessly speak to them without paying attention. I have lost my intentionality and I just do things unplanned and just however way. I am afraid of being a failure its eating me up every day. Talk about all the hopes my mother had, oh I am a disappointment.

I feel ANGER at the social system and everybody in it, why is it like this? Where am I going? I look outside my world and its chaotic, most of my university colleagues are working as shop attends, hustling, being vendors. My fellow friends who have attained high class and very satisfactory results just as I did are just roaming the streets without any plan. Is this what we signed up for?

I feel LEFT OUT AND BEHIND, how could this be possible, I am 25 and with literally nothing, no job, no car, no decent phone, literally nothing, not even confidence, I don’t know how to fix it. I need help, please something, I need a job, I have no idea where I am going. I am so scared. I am sad and want to cry every time, please God help! When is change going to come?

Yours always

Me…”

Can anyone relate to this? I know there are many of us who have gone through this, some are going through it right now, some will soon go through it ( sadly enough, though I wouldn’t want us to dwell in our loses and negativity I wish it could be a bit different and nobody had to go through this at all), it’s a continuous struggle and it is real. And it is what is eating up many of our young people of this generation. 

Some are totally failing to deal with it and fall into depression, some are completely giving up hope and just going by the wind. But is it really the end? Do you think it really is the end? You are not alone.

Take it from this point of view: Your 20s aren’t the final years of your life, though they build a foundation of the rest of your life, it’s not the end, they are actually a means to an end. So listen, whatever you are going through is not the end. 

This is the time to figure out what you really want out of life. To figure out your talents, to find yourself, the greatest five years to your 30s that will have endless possibilities in finding the self. This is not the time to feel like a failure. All the emotions mentioned above, I have passed through and the frustration is real, it is rather too visible, but let me tell you from what I have gone through myself. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.  Almost everybody has gone through this phase, unless if you are privileged enough to be born in a well-off family where everything has always been set up for you (lucky you, never take it for granted), we all pass through this phase, and it is important to look out for self, to hold self from falling into depression.

It takes time but everything falls into place if you are careful and not lose yourself, you need not lose your precious self. I have gone through this phase so I know exactly what I am talking about. I figured instead of throwing the pity party, I should really do something about this. I rekindled the fire with my writing and other areas I am passionate about and found a love I had never known existed, I even found opportunities I could have not been aware of had I stayed in my shell throwing a pity party for myself. I found an escape and even invested my time in it, and boy was I right.

All I am saying is this is not the end. Your mental health should always come first and never be neglected; you need your insanity to finally enjoy yourself when you reach that place that you always wanted to. Commit time to finding things you love doing and do these more often. Whilst trying to earn a living, try volunteering first, selling something even though everybody out here is selling something, you will be shocked that in an economy that is so bad some people just like you are thriving. Be innovative, sell your talents, and acquire new skills.

Your degree is not final, venture into other disciplines, try something new, just do something and not remain the same. Stop complaining and start doing. Think deep about this and take action, if you want to remain the same or if you want to move, it is all in your hands. I am not exactly where I want to be but I have not stopped pursuing what I want, exploring and looking into other fields. You are allowed to study again in a new area or advance your education in the area of your interest, just don’t stop moving until you find something. Meet new people, go places, that’s how you get connected, don’t just stay in your shade, that’s how you drown in your sorrows and fall into depression. Keep moving, you will definitely get there, and when you get into your mid-thirties you will smile back and appreciate yourself for never giving up.

This is for everyone like me, who have experienced unemployment, underemployment, (“little-or-no-employment”, “employmentlessness” and many other self-invented words to describe the state of not working) whatever that relates to having no job, no plan or experiencing the evils of distorted social strata. Besides blaming the other institutions, how much effort have you put in yourself, think about it, and start doing something, JUST START AND START NOW!!!

Always remember to love yourself enough to respect your future and guard your legacy. You are unique, everybody else is taken! Let us grow together!

#lifelessons #reflections #selfdevelopment

                                                 

Why should your opinion matter more than mine?

MY OPINIONS MATTER SO DO YOURS…

My beautiful people, hope I find you well, I am thankful to be alive, and the more I am living every day the more I receive life gifts that are beautiful and meaningful. I want to live more and explore these gifts. Really it’s amazing how the universe acts, I mean it could be some random acts of kindness from the universe to me I don’t know but I sure enjoy how the words I speak upon my life have so much impact right back in my life. Let me explain myself in a second, I am just excited.

So just recently I wrote an expression called “teach me love”, check my last post https://chrissinit.blogspot.com/2019/06/teach-me-love-letter-to-universe.html .I don’t know if it is me or what, but since January I have been saying a lot of positive words upon my life and I have seen my life take a tour for a significant positive change. Of course April was kind of a bad month for me (I now understand that no matter how happy we design our lives to be through affirmations, sometimes life being life just happens and it’s how we rise up that defines the amount of strength we have in us, I fought I conquered), overall I have had such a fruitful and fulfilling year so far based upon my affirmations (you can have a little piece of my April challenges here https://chrissinit.blogspot.com/2019/04/rumor-has-it-april-has-been-ugly-april.html  . 


I digressed(sorry) Back to my last post “teach me love”, I have have this desire in me to do more good and appreciate the people around me more, to do acts of kindness and love even more the people that make it hard to love (you know what I mean #winks). You get what you want, just mean it and ask for it with good intentions and a meaningful heart. I wasn’t really ready, but I am getting what I asked for, little by little we are getting there.

pic cred @rawpixel.com

All being said, in this regard just during the weekend I had a number of experiences that even furthers my longing for us as humans to have love for each other. Genuine love that calls for acceptance and embracing each other, with a love that transcends physical and perceived boundaries. Because as it is right now, we are lacking, man we are so judgmental, so close-minded and we are so imposing and in some cases so limiting and as it is the Christian folk is the most guilty of this as I speak for myself as a Christian, the church hurts my feelings, really we hurt each other a whole lot and this makes my heart bleed.

We make each other feel even undeserving and so unworthy, crucifying some people for the exact same sins or worse we do behind closed doors, (Child who hurt you so bad, you might ask?, nobody in particular but everybody who has judged the next person simply because they didn’t partake the life that they want them to live based on the values they see as right. I am guilty of this but I am trying, please pray for me and join me in trying to live our best lives without imposing our opinions on other people, Lets grow together and grow right while at it). Most of these are completely personal choices therefore let’s respect each other and keep hatred and negativity at bay.

So what’s my story? Your opinions matter, so do mine. In very situation really, be quick to listen and be slow to judge, be quick to keep an open mind and be slow to jump to conclusion or limit someone because you think you are better than them, or because you think you are morally cleaner or you know better, everyone has a lesson for us and we are not good at everything. Just a tip: Geniuses or intelligent people, well in this case “emotionally intelligent people”, are quick to say and know that they do not know everything, there is a lesson in every situation, they are always eager to learn, and I really want to be amongst these ones and I want you to be too( that’s if you want it too, laughs).

pic cred @freerangestock.com

This piece might be all over the place but let me rant and please be patient, all I want to put across is that: let’s stop imposing our lifestyles on others, just because you don’t eat meat, do not bash those who do, preach your preferences in peace and let other people learn the best way from you peacefully, the same applies on religion, politics, family matters, work ethics, you name it. If you preach in showing your opinions’ benefits peacefully and gracefully, you never know whose life you can impact positively. It’s not about force really, it’s about compassion and empathy. This even extends to how we correct other people around us, I’m sure nobody wants to be corrected in a provoking way, try it on me (to be honest if you correct me rudely and loudly, you will get what’s coming your way I will be equally rude and loud about it, knowing fully well I’m wrong, I’m just being as honest as ever, but if you do it gracefully and quietly, I sure will be remorseful and listen, even apologize and try to change. Real queens fix other queens’ crowns quietly, (I have forgotten the exact expression but I guess you get my point).

If you don’t like something, quietly and respectively stop watching, stop listening, move away, simply do it in the most “respectful way” possible and always know that everybody is entitled to their own opinion and it’s OK because we are different, diversity is the word and that’s why the rainbow is beautiful, it has many different colors existing in harmony. As long as the opinions are not life threatening or vulgar, then let other people thrive with you. Let’s try to be tolerant (of course I mentioned not to BS, although this is subjective, but I know there is a standard of good and bad generally existing in life, don’t take bull whilst minding your own business),but let’s accept others, which is the main message in this whole “rantage” of words #smiles. Yes I know I’m dramatic like that.

I take this world generally at a macro scale, and the church at a micro scale, as a literal social hospital, nobody is perfect, we are all looking for growth with the ultimate goal of reaching to our full health’s potential, thus are learning every day. Don’t let the people in the church/world hurt you to the extent of hating them; we are all sick in a way and in a hospital to our full healing. Let’s all exist together and as each of us heal, at different times of course, let’s tolerate each other’s growth and celebrate our growth. It’s not about perfection it’s about learning to embrace different opinions and move on with our lives.

 

"The rainbow is beautiful because it has many different colors, it knows that good things in life are formed through accepting diversity, learn from it " C.Matenga
pic cred @wallpapercave

Always remember we should all be thriving in our differences, because the world need this diversity to see its fullest potential after all, we are all different parts of a one whole body. The stomach cannot function to its full potential without the mouth, so does the very important part that passes waste out, need I say more #winks of course you get my point!!! Let’s practice ACCEPTANCE!!!

I live for a day that somebody will tell me this, “Christine, I am not a Christian/ black/a woman/insert whatever you identify yourself with, but I still relate to your work and have really learnt a lot from you, I don’t exactly agree with all your opinions but I must acknowledge I have learnt a lot and my life has been positively influenced by you…” This is the level of acceptance I look for and I also want to practice. I am not exactly the most open-minded person in the room but I am willing to try it out, who is with me? Let’s grow together!

#everybodysopinionmatter #diversity #embracingindividuality

Teach me Love : Letter to the universe

Hello my beautiful people, I’m always excited when I come here to share with you some of my deepest life lessons, ambitions, hopes and desires, because I know I am not alone. It makes me so happy to share my state of mind through writing, and I feel like I can connect better with the rest of the world through sharing these thoughts. This is one of my recent spoken word pieces and I thought it would fit perfectly with the message I want to pass on today. Enjoy…

TEACH ME LOVE: LETTER TO THE UNIVERSE

Teach me love …

Yes dear universe, I ask of a favor of a lifetime, if I ever in my lifetime have to ask for one gift, this is what I ask for…In a world that is full of selfishness, discontentment, pure lack of consideration and misconceptions of love itself, I ask for one thing…

A love so profound, a love unimaginable, undefined, unconquered…

Teach me to love everybody else as I expect to be loved, to treat them with enough respect just as I yearn for, a deep understanding I search for and a common ground I cry for…

Teach me to love beyond measure, to give before being asked, to listen and give a hand when a soul in need is in sight, teach me to give an ear and keep an open mind, not to judge but take time and spare my time enough to inspire and breathe life...

Dear universe, teach me to treat everybody with a genuine appreciation of their undisputed uniqueness, individuality and peculiarity, teach me to appreciate their deep human nature and pour me a deep affection towards the rest and enhance my humanity…

Teach me to be humble enough to let them express their deepest concerns without me striking them with discontentment and discord, I do not want to sit here look pretty and be part of a continuously breaking world anymore, I am sick and tired of the disconcerted definition of love in its every perception…

I seek of a love that is deep in its depth, extended in its form and prolonged in its nature, a love that sees beyond color, race, possessions, a love that embraces diversity, in its eternity…

When you are done cooking and preparing this unfathomable, undisputed, unimaginable kind of love, fill my cup and let it overflow as i dip my lips into it, let my body quiver in pleasure of being in contact with a feeling so magical, ready to anoint the deeper depths of my human to spread this kind of love…

Teach me to splurge this kind of love around and share it with the world, a love  that seems and feels unreal, a love that heals the hostile, that mends the broken, that listens to the voiceless, that  is considerate to the often ignored, and connects  with an unending chord, a chord of understanding and peaceful co-existence…

I know this is almost impossible, but almost isn’t really not the ultimate most, is it? I know it’s not, therefore I am here asking for the most, because even if it takes a hundred years and an absolute most of time, I am here standing the test of time, waiting in time for that very time that this kind of love will be thoroughly unraveled to all of us as humanity and, and then that time we will all put others first and embrace the fruits of co-existence…

Teach me a love almost unnatural, a love so profound, a love unconquered, a love I almost can expect from only a higher power, that’s the kind of love I yearn to be gifted with, to give out to the world as much as I also yearn to be flowered with that rarity!!!

💖

TEACH ME LOVE @Christine Matenga Spokenword

💗💙💚💕

We live in a world that has many misconceptions and this is not an exception to the biggest part of our life ”LOVE”. In this piece I ask of the universe to give me a deep love towards other people as much as I expect to be loved by the rest of the world in a similar manner. I mean of course it sounds like an impossibility to love the next person just as much as you love yourself, but look at it this way: Do you like it when other people generally hate you, because of your color, race, ethnicity, where you come from, what you have/ haven’t achieved, anything really?, how some people with power generally are inconsiderate, have distorted priorities, why the world is constantly developing into a world that has so much chaos, inconsiderate leaders, men that take advantage of women, women that use men for money, corrupt people everywhere, lies, deceitfulness, and a whole lot of bad.

Is this how we want to keep living like? Do we ever think of the future? Do we ever think of our children who are going to have to live with our lack of general love? What is our future like if we lack this common critical part of life? Just think about it? Ask for that one thing from the universe that you feel is very important to the growth of our existence as humans. What’s the greatest gift you seek to have from the universe so that your children will inherit from you, something that cannot come in monetary value? For me it is LOVE, and I don’t mean the romantic kind, I mean the general kind, love for humanity, unconditional love towards the next person, the love I expect to be given.

For me it is LOVE, and I don’t mean the romantic kind, I mean the general kind, love for humanity, unconditional love towards the next person, the love I expect to be given.

 Always remember: YOU CANNOT EXPECT FROM THE UNIVERSE WHAT YOU CAN’T GIVE YOURSELF, this rule generally applies to every other person, give out what you constantly yearning for and teach the world how best you ought to be loved, and make the world a better place!!! Like always I am just as a reminder to the life lessons we keep forgetting. Lots of love always. Till next time …XOXO

#spokenwordpoetry #reflections #lifelessons #teachmelove

Letter from the Not-so-innocent-me

Dear Current Self...

Dear Current-Self …

Please give me a chance to express myself to you as much as you recklessly throw the most hurtful of words without hesitation or doubt. Please don’t shut me up before I even say all I have been burying deep down in my broken heart. I know, I know you hate me with a passion and sometimes doubt yourself and you always are in flight mode whenever I try to reach out, but listen just listen and let me let it all out, no doubt I will be nice, I come in peace and all I want I to live with you in peace and leave here in one piece, I promise I will be nice.

The day I came into your life, we were so much in love because you were ready to experiment, to live a little and explore a whole lot, I mean I wasn’t the best of your options because you weren’t so sure, but I sure was fun, and I sure held your hand and I never was prepared to take a run. I was here for the long run, but fate happened, and just like the truth it is, everything comes and happens for a reason, to build and do more building. I am not bragging but let me give you one hint, you are here because of me, I was the deep gorge you needed to pass through to your light, I was the fun but bad that you required for you to know and differentiate between right and wrong.

I know I am that part you decided to let go and let me tell you this, I am not mad at you so please stop treating me like an enemy here, I am not. I understand why you left me. It’s a lonely place down here, here in the pits, but it gives me joy that you have navigated through life the way you have, you have grown, you now appreciate treating other people well because we had one hell of a ride when we were taking them for rides. I must say the day you started feeling sick of all the bad things we used to do together I knew it was for me to give you a chance to meet yourself, to appreciate the things in your life and understand that people are not objects that can be used or replaced, that’s why we have things, gadgets and everything else non-human use those.

I pushed you to the limits and showed you that there is nothing beyond being dishonest, non-loyal, cheating, not committing, lying, stealing and a whole lot of the things we did in the dark, that’s all it is mortal fun. It was fun as well as educative, please give me the accolades I deserve: I led you through the darkness, so you can meet light, I let you loose so you can learn to hang so tight, I whispered in your ears be sly, be savage so you can have so much baggage, and when time comes you will understand not to judge people based on that which they bring when they come into your life and speak their love language.

With no doubt I gave you character, I built it from the ground, I am neither beating about the bush ,nor going around, I am setting my foot on the ground, and rightfully express my mind, so profound. Stop giving me attitude and understand what I am telling you with great aptitude, I speak of what I know, and I speak from the known, we both know we weren’t saints, but for how long will you go, shutting me out and not embracing me for who I was in your life. I gave you the liberty to move on after I played my role, but you keep disrespecting me, by running away from all the truth and not giving me credit of my role. Sweetheart I am not going to judge you, but I am giving you power to accept that we had a good time, but you had to grow up.

 Now listen, stop beating yourself about changing the past, man I am always going to be part of you, I apologise I cannot be erased, I have siblings everywhere in everybody’s life, some have stunted growth , some take time to let go their hosts but one thing for sure we are here to teach life worth lessons. We are to jump start lives, we are for a purpose, and I promise you like I did; we always let go and take the back sit, sometimes we are very hard to leave behind, but the right time always comes. 

It’s always different for everybody, depending upon the lives they live and the circumstances in their lives, but we come and go, and trust me, believe it or not the experience we come and gift you with are amazing, you will understand this when you grow older. Tell me you didn’t learn a thing or two? I know you did ( not to threaten you but if you invite me in any case I’m glad to give you round two, but I know you have learnt enough now, so I will stay behind where I belong).

One favour I ask from you is to make peace with me, and keep the lessons I gave you. I wish for you to accept that what happened was for the lessons and experience, I served my term in your heart, and I made marks. I am unapologetic for pushing you so hard sometimes, but look at you today, aren’t you beautifully amazing? I look at you and I sigh and ooze with pride, I mean you are amusing. I don’t wish to come again, I will sit in the background and wait for you to move on from me, and the moment you will stop shutting me down, I will peacefully take my goods with me and trust me you will never ever have to fight me, cause I will not be loud anymore.

Stop beating yourself and know that I am always part of you, just accept it and move on doing that will give you the power to release the energy of forgiveness deep in your heart the moment you stop suppressing me, your very own forgiveness to you. I told you I am not part of your future, you have every power to make it what you want it to be. I am only here as your past to build the character you needed. I mean look at you aren’t you what the entire world appreciates. Keep going forward and never look back, I do not define you. I am here for peace and with this I say TRUCE.

Yours Ready to go when you want

Your-not-so-innocent

Hello my beautiful people, I hope this speaks to you in away you never really thought of seeing it, we came here to learn, grow and conquer, lets grow together!!!

#growth #selfreflections #selflove

I know its not easy, it used to scare me too ...

THE ART OF SOLITUDE!!!

 “We are in a world where we are connected to everything else except ourselves” unknown

pic cred: .freepik.com/free-photo

Often at times when the word solitude is mentioned, most of us start pooping our pants and running away into the shadows, with squeaks louder than that of mice and total shunning of the topic as much as we ban most of the things we don’t understand. Relax, it’s just “solitude not loneliness, there is a huge difference.

SOLITUDE	LONELINESS
This expresses the glory of being alone	Whilst this expresses the pain of being alone

See the difference here? Embracing solitude has nothing to do with embracing pain. If I catch you again running away from embracing your solitude, I don’t know what I will do to you. I will wear my African mother’s shoes and deal with you accordingly, would you like that? I know you don’t.

Referring to the first statement in italics above, it’s true that we are now living in a world where we are connected to everything else except ourselves. We make sure that we are always connected to the internet, and yes on the basic needs diagram, if you don’t know it it’s a basic scholarly Diagram of needs by one significant scholar Abraham Maslow in the area of basic human needs, I heard Wi-Fi is an added basic need (that took me by surprise at first I mean, Wi-Fi really? From where I come from that’s a luxury, a basic need is food and education, period!!!

 Anyway back to the rest of the “world” world, WIFI is a basic need now), which means it’s a required necessity to survive. Interesting!!! It is that important that some people cannot survive without this need, to connect with the rest of the world and everything else in between. WE ARE CONNECTED TO EVERYTHING ELSE EXCEPT OURSELVES.

Adopted from : Abraham Maslow's pyramid of hierarchy of needs

Imagine the rate at which your heart skips beats that moment you realise that you don’t have your phone with you, I know exactly the feeling because I have lost about four phones in a period of eleven months, please don’t judge your girl, it happens, trust me it does. The first time I realized that I no longer had my phone on me, I almost had a heart attack, I got into shock and panic at the same time, just imagine that combination and I was in the very middle of the CBD thinking oh my word my phone, for how long will I be disconnected from the world. I felt like it was just the robbing of my world that had happened right there, (don’t worry I’m always extra and dramatic it wasn’t really that bad), but you follow where I am going with this right? If you aren’t, just two more seconds.

I am simply saying we have intoxicated ourselves too much with the belief that if we lose connection with the world and everybody else, that’s the end of us, which is a bit true in a way, however not in its entirety. We need other people to go by and live and enjoy life, but we need to be in love with ourselves the most, in connection with our deeper selves and individuals to then connect with the rest of the world so that we don’t lose our identities in the process. You feel me now?

To achieve this, you need to start appreciating being by yourself at times and mostly embracing this act, embrace solitude, its needed, to detoxify all the perceptions of you that the world or social media has incited into your little pretty brain. I mean we live in world which shapes us in many ways than we can imagine one or two times in a while you need to re-find yourself, it’s a constant process. Just like some people say motivation is temporary; it’s like a bath, that’s why we do it every day. So finding the self is a constant practice which can’t be done only once but so many times in a lifetime, it’s a necessity my friend.

Learn the art of solitude and hear yourself think!!! It’s worth a try, I promise. At first it will be painful, trust me the first time I tried it, it was painful, my mind is the loudest place on earth I would like to think. I struggle to silence the voices, some are just louder than others, because I am an over-thinker in general. Most times I have the whole geometry of what that “are you for real?” statement by my friend or my mother or anyone else said to me in a conversation or argument. You have no idea how much of a thesis I write in my head, I mean philosophies and more, which is rather draining sometimes and one of my weakness.

Find spaces that give you room to listen to yourself, connect deep with you, away from the world's noise. For me its places of nature, parks and reading away from everybody, it helps me a lot in reconnecting with myself now and again... 

But slowly now I’m beginning to master to silence some voices and just hear myself think, whilst I am alone on a coffee date or art gallery visit or the park, it’s refreshing, it’s revitalizing and all the good things. Take time off your busy schedule and just be by yourself and enjoy your company, don’t be scared that it might be boring or such, that’s how we learn.

Just like you learnt the skill of approaching a woman, or a man, or make new friends, do the same, it’s never easy at first but trust me, you will learn a thing or two about you, that will amaze you. You will fall in love with you, through the use of Solitude!!! Just because you are alone doesn’t necessarily mean you are lonely, I said it once I just said it again, so that  it’s hammered in that your-not-so-thick skull of yours.

Always remember to smile, love yourself, and appreciate the person you are, be you because everybody else is taken. Lots of love, xoxo!!!

#conquer2019 #growth #embracesolitude

Even if you came with a label, they were still going to misuse you!

NEWSFLASH: EVEN IF YOU CAME WITH A LABEL, THEY WERE STILL GOING TO ABUSE YOU IF THEY WANTED TO !!! (Christine Matenga)

Hey lovelies, hope you are all well, I am great, just coming to you with a little emotional stretching talk about relationships;these might be friendship, romantic, or any other kind. Just,you are welcome here, relax and enjoy!!!

Anyone who appreciates you, or who wants to do that, just does so and appreciates you just the way you are. You don’t need to have a poster on your chest written instructions of how you deserve respect, care, attention and all the good stuff, anyone who feels the need to do this, they just do it either way.

Often at times we tend to blame ourselves, maybe I wasn’t clear enough from the onset, maybe I didn’t give the right signals, or maybe I deserve the disrespect, No. It’s not you it’s them, Periodt!!!

Do you know how worthy, you are, just how worthy you are. No! I think you didn’t hear the question. I asked, “Do you know just how beautiful, important, relevant, significant, I mean a whole worthy bundle of existence? Yes You! Sometimes it just sounds like a lie, I mean I sometimes feel ugly, unattractive, dumb, and irrelevant like I just don’t deserve the front seat of the show, I need be at the backstage just hiding under the dressing table or something.

But I’m glad most of the time I am feeling confident and just great no matter how insignificant my contributions are sometimes. I’m glad I am finally mastering the art of utter self-confidence. It can be learnt and not easily so but it can definitely be learnt, trust me I have not always been articulate and confident but here I am today. 

You don’t need a label on your forehead written respect me, because even if you did have it , I bet you if they just didn’t want to give it to you they would still come disrespect the hell out of your brains. It’s just how life works. Imagine how many times you’ve seen the “do not “ sign but you just did the thing that was not allowed to be done anywhere, because you just didn’t care or just wanted to prove a point, or just badly wanted to do that thing and violated the order. Yeah, I know you have, just because the consequences were just not detrimental to you or you didn’t care.

pic credit: @KylieGlenn on Unsplash

What I am simply saying is that, until you start appreciating yourself, regardless of how the world sees you, you won’t get the accolades you deserve. I am getting at this: If a person doesn’t want to respect you no matter how hard you try to have it all written all over you, they will just trample on you anyway. Know who deserves your attention, and worth your time. It shows, if somebody treats you like an option, it really shows, they are available on their own time and you always the one putting in a 75% effort sometimes even an 85% and they don’t compromise. You know where I am getting at right? I know you do. No matter how much you care, make it obvious you are into it and available for it, if they just don’t want to give their all, they just won’t.

This is how life works: it’s a bitter truth but most of the times the person at the receiving end of being treated well by the other usually isn’t just a bad person there are a number of factors surrounding their behaviour. Sometimes it could just be this; we meet new people and are excited about the idea of being with them, friends , partners, spouses, but we don’t take time to really get to understand each other, by the time you do , you realize it was just the idea of being close that enticed you and there isn’t really a solid connection there but because you are already in it, you just stay in it. That’s where we get it wrong.

The moment the gum loses the taste and you both feel it, spit it before it starts giving you heartburn, you don’t want none of you being caught in the toxicity of this nature. So no matter how hard you try sometimes, it just isn’t worth it. Leave it before it withers you away and sucks you dry emotionally, because sometimes, well most times, no matter your efforts you just can’t stand the high temperature you are putting yourself under, and your label still says “no high temperatures”, this label is visible through how emotional you get, how compassionate of a person you are, how loving and caring you are and it shows, they know but just because it doesn’t matter to them anyway, they put you under certain pressures you just can’t handle( and its true can’t handle because you are human, don’t act all tough), and sometimes they know they are doing that.

pic credit: @Yunus on Unsplash

Regardless of your strength as a human being and good intentions and good signals you show, some people are not meant for us, they come for a reason and sometimes they teach us lessons, some good and some bad. If you are a good person and communicator, showing them the right codes to enter to access the programming of your heart and mind, they just won’t get it. So don’t blame yourself, look into it and check where the hurt comes from, because it just has to be done that way.

Humans are humans and sometimes we don’t take time to read the instructions on labels, we just use as we see fit and when it’s worn out we just throw the thing away. Know your worth and when to just walk away before you are embarrassingly disposed away, from the friendship, courtship, relationship , or whatever it is that you are having, because no matter how you shout and show your label, just we are not going to read it, because that’s what we do most of the times. We read where we want to and ignore where we just don’t, it’s not the fault of the one with the label, Not rocket Science (But it sure feels like so ) Periodt!

#staywinning #becoming #selflove

Secrets Unraveled ( gems to happiness)

The world is constantly changing and our perspectives as well are moving with the flow. Many a times we are brainwashed and fed to believe some concepts that really have damaged our very own opinions in many ways, I mean once in a while we need to be reminded of the real truths, that are nothing but secrets now because they are buried deep and we don’t really see them as often as the new concepts, new forms of beauty, new perceptions of success, of happiness and a whole lot more.

 We are now living in a fast world that has stolen our real living, we are merely living but running with the wind of technology, money and fame, take a minute from all of it and breathe I want to remind you of these things, you are more than what you have, what you own and how much money you have in your bank account, you are more than just that. Listen here, listen to the following, these are real truths:

It doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful, fix the inside more than you do the outside. All it needs is real love and understanding!!!

·         It doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful:

We are living in a world that is constantly pursuing perfection, from the way we portray the best side of life, with perfect lives, friendships, relationships, lifestyles and everything our minds are fed to believe that everything should always be perfect and perfect exists. We tend to struggle a lot when things don’t go our way because our minds are being programmed that way, because we are what we constantly feed our souls. 

Perfection doesn’t relate to humanity, we are made to have flaws, we are flawed, it is what makes us beautiful, that flaw is part of our identity, it makes the best parts stand out and shine even brighter. Perfect is a myth, it’s a mirage, it is a hallucination, no one and nothing is perfect. If we get to understand this it makes it easy for us to accept ourselves better and appreciate the best parts of us. Embrace your flaws and be perfectly flawed, it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.

·          Hard work is not equal to success :

Yes the statement is correct just as it is, if it was I mean we all could have been rich and wealthy and everything, especially the African folk that works day in and day out very hard to see the next meal. It takes more than just hard work; yes it could make you successful in some ways because the word “success” in its very own way is subjective, so I am not completely dismissing it but it takes determination, financial intelligence, mental toughness, monitoring and evaluating goals and progress, emotional intelligence, consistency, the list is endless, I could one forever, but I think you follow where I am going with this. I know this is a subject of argument and we all have our own story to tell and that’s a very conducive place to learn and grow.

 Hard work “only” just as we like to ignore it has many flaws especially if it consists of long hours, sleep deprivation, physical strain, and distorted social life, this is unhealthy. I would like you to think deeply about this and revise your concept of working hard. However as much as we are believing in smart work, we are not completely ditching ‘hard work”, because it is part of the bigger picture when done right.  So yes, revise your point on it, success consists of a whole entire field of other factors, in case you might be wondering why after all the hard work you remain poor, #laughs.

·         Movement is not progress:

I read it from somewhere and it made so much sense to me , the quote read, “Don’t confuse movement with progress. Just because you do it time and again doesn’t mean you are doing great. Make progress, do not be busy without achieving anything. See progress and make a difference”, need I add more? Really, it’s all been said. We are busy running around day and night, wearing out our once in a lifetime selves, but what difference really have we made? Answer this honestly. Is there a difference between where you where the last couple of years and now, or you just running around the busy world, as busy as it is and following the wind. 

Have you executed that project, and see its impact, have you written that book? Have you built that house or you are chasing sunsets. Think about it. And in the same spirit, do not be discouraged if you see others moving a whole lot and you are moving at a snail pace but making moves, because their drastic movement might not necessarily directly translate to progress. Pay attention, make moves and make a difference. Beware of wasting resources and finding out there was nothing really you did at the end of it all.

·         The secret to having it all, is knowing that you already do:

I recently read post by Esther Kazungu a Kenyan Youtuber saying that we are like cups of tea with sugar that's not yet stirred (thank you Esther for the message it got me thinking), the world might think that you are unsweetened but only because your tea is not stirred, the sugar is already in there but just with the right process you are sweetened. 

The same way you already have it in you and with you, it’s only waiting for the ignition to be hit, press the right buttons and you will see the thing happening, do the thing already, stir us some sugar in your tea, we all waiting for the sweet part. The only thing separating you from your greatness and you actually having it all is that, you don’t know yet that you just aren't stirred not that you don’t have it already, you do.

 

Don't doubt it, you already have it in you!!!

I thought I should just remind you of these few things, because we tend to forget some of these important things in our lives. Take time to reflect time and again, and practice intentionallity, you will see the difference. Always remember you are unique and the world needs you, your talents and your gifts will change someone’s life. So long beauties… Enjoy this life whilst you still have it and remember that it’s the littlest things that matter in life.

#reflections #growth #lifesecrets