Hey loves hope you are having a
great day, I myself is feeling good as I write this down I am in the mood of
forgiving. You ever read a book that feels like it is talking right to you and
has been sent to serve a purpose of healing your wounds, those that have
existed for quite a while. Many times I just decide to let go and forget about
things unlike most people I forget and not forgive. Honestly I sometimes think
or rather convince myself that I have forgiven and forgotten but the
confrontations that come when I am just talking about the incident I then
realize that I just was trying to forget about the drama or offense just real
quick so that I just get over it.
This often eats me up in my subconscious because
I would have just bandaged an open untreated wound so that it doesn’t look bad
and as well put a numbing gel there that the pain just decreases. But what is
wrong with this is that the infection runs deep because the wound has not been
nursed well, it has not been treated, it just was covered so I don’t get to see
the nasty wound wide open looking ugly. It eats down the flesh and starts
smelling so bad because it is an open untreated wound, what did you expect, it
is a wound so that is just how wounds operate. In short I become bitter, for lack
of a better word, and yes I mean it becomes very ugly, for me and the people
around me, and for that matter I am a woman, yes, a woman and we all know we “talk”
we “snap”, and being a black African woman is like the “cherry on top”, I rant,
to everyone, I mean even the cat in the house knows she can’t be messed with,
all else we all feel it with her in the house. I know you get the picture, lol.
Tell me you don’t know what I am talking
about, you don’t? Really? You do right? Yes acceptance now we are talking, that
is the first thing to do, accept this happened and needs to be dealt with, ASAP,
before the whole hand or foot that has been injured falls off. If it’s a finger
or foot the better for you because it could have been worse, maybe the nose or
the eye, the whole face love, think about it. You might ask why I am speaking
in this coded language; this is to simplify the whole crisis because I know we
are all self-conscious especially with our bodies. Sometimes or rather most
times when people hurt us, even the littlest of things, they hurt us for their
own selfish reasons more than they hurt us for us, it is about fulfilling their
own agendas, to make themselves happy, to fulfil their dreams, to be free from
bondage etcetera, it is mostly not about us , and therefore they just do not
care when we sulk the whole while and usually we fail to see that and we are
always mad and angry when we have an encounter with them. We want to spit in
their face and most of the time they just do not care. Now who is being hurt
way too much? Who is having sleepless nights, who is always feeling a roaring anger when
they see the offender? It is you the victim right? So why don’t you just
relieve yourself from the burden you are carrying that not only destroys you
but messes up even the lives of the people you have around. 
Not forgiving someone because
they broke your heart, they dropped your phone and did not repair it, they
cheated on you, they stole from you is what I am referring to as the wound on
the arm or foot, think about the one that has been scarred on the face forever,
the one who have witnessed murder of their parents or such, they have been
wounded and scarred forever and it hurts but some of them have been the
strongest people I salute ever. They have displayed this strength through
forgiving, through letting go because they have respected themselves enough to
free themselves from the bondage of not forgiving their offender. I understand
you have been hurt, and you would say “easier said than done” but think about it,
the susceptibility of hurt that we have gone through is very different nobody
else understands what you are going through except for you and this is true but
listen to this;
What is better, to hate the offender forever and never forgive
forever whilst at it hurting your life forever whilst they are having the times of
their lives somewhere else, or just let it go. Imean its sad but most of them
just do not care, especially the ones that lack remorse, sometimes I feel like
just getting violent , I mean I don’t want to sit here and look all innocent, I
am human and I have been hurt and I hurt too so I know exactly what I am
talking about. The good thing is to learn to be the better version of yourself
and I am not perfect I am also learning. So, free yourself and treat your wound
to your advantage so that it heals nicely and only leaves scars that remind us
of not making the same mistake of trusting our lives with the offender, not in
a hate way but in a learning the-hard-way way. We are humans, mistakes make us
learn. Now free you through forgiveness and move on, your offender most likely
just don’t care, I said this before, I’m sorry but it’s true. Be the bigger
person that sees the bigger picture, you are doing it for YOU. And if your offender
is remorseful and means their apologies then that makes it a bonus to you,
because some people genuinely hurt us by mistake, or if not, they hurt us and are
genuinely sorry after admitting they hurt you. So this is two-sided. It all
applies to being hurt in general and learning to forgive.
I am currently reading the book written by TD
Jakes called “Let it go” and it is such a relatable book, when I am reading it I
feel so connected to its content. It has shaded more light to me about the
topic of forgiveness and has taught most of the things I have articulated just
above. It says ,”Forgive so you can be forgiven”. One part which really was a
game changer for me was the part where TD Jakes wrote;
“…whether we realize it or not, our
infection infiltrates our gifts, our talents, our workplace, our relationships,
every aspect and area of our lives. Just as an internal infection can go septic
and poison our blood, which then spreads throughout our body, so can this
personal and emotional infection spread and affect all areas of our life- the
ability to interact with co-workers, to make new friends, to ask someone out on
a date, etc..” T.D. JAKES: LET IT
GO(2012) New York.
…and this
my friend is the infection of not forgiving that you do not need in your life,
ITS TOXIC to nobody else but you.
Just imagine giving your offender
so much power over your life, No!!! no, no, no, they do not deserve an inch of even
your hatred, you learnt that lesson the first time, just forgive and let go,
and when you heal you will live your best life and experience the goodness life has to offer. This is just a sneak peek
into the book and I highly recommend if you haven’t read it before, please if
you are with me on the 50 books Reading Challenge please incorporate it on your
schedule, and for someone else not doing the challenge the better for you to
take time and read this phenomenal teacher of a book, it is so relatable, I guarantee
you.
If you also have any suggestions
feel free to converse with me down below, you are all welcome…
Live life to the fullest, you
only have one…Lots of love, mwaaah, xoxo!!!
#vision2019 #shereads #bibliophile
#lifelessons
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