The Dark is not a place to stay, Move Away (It's a matter of Life and Death)

Mental Health Problem in Africa (#repost from Style Sessions Blog)

Lest we forget what this platform is about, I thought of reminding you lot of what it is about and you are welcome to settle here for as long as we can and let us be a family that seeks healing and understanding of our mental health and personal growth. Like I always say, let us grow together and learn more about our mental health. It being the new year, I thought it was perfect timing, I mean why not...

“It will never happen to me”             “Oh please just get over it”

                                    “Mental problems are for the weak” 

“She is just seeking attention”            “She needs to be prayed for it’s just a demon”

Mental Health as a whole concept in Africa has been misconceptualized in many ways than one, relating it back to our lack of understanding on what it really is. We have been under the impression that it is a disease for the Westerners and never for the Africans, which is a deadly ignorance that needs more attention that it already is getting.

What is Mental Health?

World Health Organization, (WHO 2004), defines mental  health as, “ a state of well-being in which every individual realizes his/her own potential, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively and fruitfully, and is able to make a contribution to her or his community.” Mental health problems include the following, depression, anxiety, severe low self-esteem, schizophrenia, eating disorders, addictive behaviors, self-harming tendencies and more. In regard to this, Mental Wellness is a significant part of our lives leading to us reaching tour full capacities. According to WHO (2004), women are mostly likely to fall into depression , whilst men are prone to fall into substance abuse, thus it is important that this is a crucial issue that has to be desensitised to the women equally as men if reaching to full our full potentials is the aimed guarantee.

Deriving from the above definition can you safely say you are mentally healthy? And if not, are you a mad person because of that? Do you deserve stigma from that? Does anybody really deserve to be ignored and treated any differently because they suffer from mental disorder? Is it fair to simply tell someone to get over it when they seem to be struggling and are calling for help? These are the questions that we should be asking ourselves, every day. Where are we going with our communities as far as development is concerned when we keep ignoring these very important concerns?

Mental Health Disorders are not diseases of the elite, of the white people only, of the attention seekers, it can happen to anyone, it can happen to you! Just because a person looks physically fit, well put together and looks like they are in control, does not necessarily mean they are. Mental Wellness goes beyond the physical, just like it is named after it is “mental” ; it is psychological meaning that it has more to do with the mind rather than it does the physical.

Why is Mental Wellness important, so much so that it is the Big Elephant in the room today? This is because it takes a mentally healthy person to be productive, to function to their full potential complementing the physical body. It takes a healthy mind to build a healthy body. The mind is the most powerful part of the human body, because that is the epitome of a human’s existence, your mind has the power to build or to destroy, it has the power to tell you, you can and you will, unfortunately it can tell you the opposite and results to a deterioration of your capabilities. You ever came across the saying that says, “she believed she can and she did”, that is exactly the concept.

Mental Well-being dives deeper than the mere absence of a mental disorder, and goes further to having the ability to cope with life’s pressures and day to day stresses, and function to your full potential resulting in productivity and progress. So do not be fooled, just because you do not have a diagnosed significant Mental Disorder, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are Mentally Healthy. It takes more than just an absence of a visible disorder, and anyone is at risk of falling into a mental breakdown.

In a world that has technologically advanced very well to our advantage, it has resulted to many of us, especially women falling into depression because of constant exposure to situations that make us compare ourselves to the next person through Social Media. It is important to have knowledge on the importance of this concept so that we will live happily and be our most productive selves (bearing in mind that of course pain and hurt is inevitable, but their better ways of dealing with them). The journey of growth and mental wellness takes more than just one person, it takes all of us joined, so that we grow together. Let’s grow together!!

Always Remember :  Not to die in silence and never be ashamed to share your story (only with a trusted person) and seek help before you entirely lose yourself.

#mentalhealth #selfawareness #growth

Ref: World Health Organization. Promoting Mental Health: concepts, emerging evidence, practice (Summary Report) Geneva: WHO ; 2004

Shut the Hell Up !!!

Start the Decade Right 

I think it’s only fair to get back here and do the exact thing that is expected of me: to say, “ HAPPY NEW YEAR, HAPPY NEW DECADE !!!”. I say so because I honestly do not want to say it ,because to me it definitely has lost its meaning, or rather let me say  it’s just like saying good morning, goodnight whatever we just say randomly out of the whim, like its routine now, but do you really put thought into it? I am a deep thinker and sometimes unnecessarily so for my own good, and everything I say is not really what you think first hand, it is usually deeper than what you hear but anyway, I rumble a lot ( so like me).

Well hello there, welcome back to “the space”, place of peace, place of positivity, I hope you are doing great and ready for one of those new year’s where we are pumped up for the first few months ( resolutions, goal setting and all, you know the drill…) and theeen, everything goes downhill, I understand, I do it too and in that regard let me say, Let’s hit all that needs to be hit when we still have the drive, since we have always  started on highs and then dropped the acceleration overtime, START THE DECADE RIGHT!!!

Shut Up !!!

Shhhhh ...

There are a number of lessons I learnt from last year and I thought ah what better way to start the year, the decade, than share from these lessons so that we all watch out for these tendencies and not make these mistakes again. I learnt a lot of things last year, the biggest lesson being “SHUT THE FIG UP!!!”. I also learnt that for me to be exactly where I want to be, I should take one step at a time and not overload myself with so many commitments that I lose myself whilst at it. I learnt that it is important to do things in small chunks and not overwhelm myself with so many goals, expectations, tasks and a whole lot of loads upon myself. We will talk more about the second lesson, but for today we are hitting hard on the first one , I shall repeat and shout even harder and louder for my brothers and especially sisters at the back ( we are mostly guilty of too much yep yep ) , ”SHUT THE HELL UP !!!”

As much as it is important to share good news and share goals and plans for whatever reason ( might it be for accountability, or push and drive , or motivation to finish it or see it come to pass, or for manifestation reasons, or whatever it is), please learn to shut up and move in silence, especially before the thing is done. I learnt the hard way. Let’s just say my big mouth worked against my favor last year.

 Well I don’t want to lie and say it mostly worked against me, because it mostly did me some good and made me see places I have never seen before in my life, it made me fly internationally for the first time, made me start a blog and maintain it, made me meet many new interesting people, made me have life changing positive encounters. But then, here comes the bomb, it made me make the one mistake of sharing something really big, a big part of my life that I wasn’t supposed to lose, a big opportunity that could have changed my life ( story for another day, which I probably will share maybe in ten years to come).The long and short of it, I learnt that not everybody that smiles at you has your best interest at heart, not everybody wishes you well, and definitely not everybody around you has the positive energy you have enough to draw good into your life.

A successful woman/man knows when to open their mouth, what to share, what to keep, how much information to dish out. Apparently you are allowed a little if not more practice of keeping your life private and just when you hit that milestone then if you wish share the success story so that you appreciate your work and celebrate your wins. It is important to keep people in the dark and just let them be curious about what is happening in your life and give them less power to jinx your world. A big lesson out of it all was: if I want to make it in life, I should speak mostly when asked, when I have to give positive encouragement, Listen more and talk less, give more ears than I dish out my words.

It is important for you to consider using other methods of kicking your goals, I mean don’t you think it’s high time you ,well we did things differently considering we have tried this other method and it has not worked in our favors. Instead of writing down these resolutions on our statuses and even our journals without really walking in silence (this has since expired) let’s try a different method. Walk in silence and let the results talk for themselves. Keep that big mouth of yours shut, and let the work of your hands flourish without jinxing things for yourself.

I will end this by quoting one of my favorite verses from the Bible (Please don’t be shocked, I am Christian, although I do not post any of that side of mine here to sound all preachy all the time, Its important I acknowledge this part of me here too as  I am seeking to be in touch with my faith in my private life) :  1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 “ that you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you, that you may walk properly toward those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing” NKJV. Do not forget that you might make all of these plans, and forget the author of it all, who has power over your life, put all of it in his hands, he who started it will finish it for you , and remember to keep quiet and work in silence. Have a fruitful year, through and through.

Let’s all start this decade the right way and stop contributing to the noise that is significantly confusing us and the rest of the world. It is important to lead our lives quietly, keep crashing goals, doing more than saying, and most of all being who we should be rather than just saying, because after all we are called human-beings !!!

#vision2020 #change #doitdifferently